Posted by emmaley on March 29, 2004, at 1:09:12
In reply to Transference or legitimate annoyance?, posted by Joslynn on March 28, 2004, at 10:13:54
You know, I would not feel very pleasant if my therapist forgot to call me back, and I don't think many people would. So, this obviously not a matter of oversensitivity. No one likes to feel forgotten by someone who is important to us; it can easily trigger thoughts and feelings around our self worth and emotions such as rage or shame. (Hmmmm, just my opinion, by the way.)
On the same token, once I was so stressed out and I forgot to check my voicemail at the agency that I worked for. When I finally did, I realized that one of my clients had left me a message to ask to reschedule almost a week ago! I felt like crap. Crap, crap, crap. Since then, I have worked hard not to ever forget again. Thank God my client forgave me. People make mistakes. We are all capable of moving on. (Thank the good lord. I felt so awful since I dropped the ball on that one.)
It seems like your therapist has made a mistake of not staying on top of returning his phone calls, and you are having a reaction to the situation, with potentially some of your own stuff being triggered (the he doesn't want you as a client bit, just wondering.) It sounds like perfectly legitimate annoyance with just a bit of transference thrown in; I see both as perfectly great topics to bring up in therapy. (This stuff is never science anyways.) He needs to return his phone calls promptly, or at least being able to explain his reasons for not being able to do so. (But certainly it is not your responsibility to change him. You can only let him know how it impacts you.)
My thoughts are just all over the place today, since today was a day full of weird events! Hope my reply makes sense. Whatever you decide to do or not do, know that you have our support!
poster:emmaley
thread:329413
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040327/msgs/329713.html