Posted by jane d on March 28, 2004, at 12:28:11
In reply to Transference or legitimate annoyance?, posted by Joslynn on March 28, 2004, at 10:13:54
I'm not sure I believe this kind of sensitivity is transference but it doesn't make it rational either. You say yourself that he called back when you desperately needed it - he sounds like the kind of person who lets routine things fall to the bottom of his to do list. You'll have to decide whether he's worth the aggravation that causes - disorganization is reason to replace a professional if it bothers you enough.
You also need to tell yourself over and over that it is just aggravation, not rejection of you personally. In this I guess I believe in a kind of cognitive approach. Force yourself to keep behaving as though it's not personal even when you are so upset that you are sure it is and sooner or later that feeling you have of being despised will go away. Or at least you won't have lost a useful doctor over a misunderstanding. I don't always practice what I preach. I once stopped seeing a doctor for several years because she said she'd call me back with a date to reschedule and then forgot. I KNEW that she had forgotten but the idea that she wanted to get rid of me as a patient kept circling in my head. Finally an emergency forced me to go back and I'm glad I did.
Reading this also makes me grateful for the consistently gentle way some doctors (especially psych I think) handle phone calls. (Take note all students.) When I'm feeling good it seems silly to me. Its priceless, however, on those days when every nerve is raw and my mind is screaming at me that I'm worthless.
Jane
poster:jane d
thread:329413
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040327/msgs/329460.html