Posted by Racer on March 28, 2004, at 15:44:17
In reply to Being fat, posted by lonelygirl on March 28, 2004, at 14:43:02
Listen, this is one of my soapboxes, so bear with me if I go too far. It's only because I care so much about the issue.
First of all, I can name at least half a dozen beautiful, sucessful Fat Chicks -- not all of them opera stars, either. Alison Moyet is one of my very favorite singers, and she is hardly ever shown in photographs because of her weight. She is BEAUTIFUL, and wouldn't have that amazing voice without a big housing for those pipes. The singing Wilson sister from Heart, same story. What's so sad is that she listened to so many people saying, "be thin!" instead of listening to her voice on the records. Kirstie Alley is getting a lot of cr*p right now, and was her name Delta Burke? Cameras do weird things to bodies, so don't let the TV or movie screen make you think you know what "real people" should look like. When the show Cybil was on the air, I ran into Cybil Shepard at an event and her bottom was -- ahem -- much larger than you'd have imagined from watching the show, but her body overall was very strangely proportioned from dieting to fit an unnatural mold. Lucy Lawless -- Xena, Warrior Princess -- who looked so voluptous onscreen was thin as a rail, and barely this side of flat chested.
Here's Racer's Rules of Weight Management:
1. If you can walk around your life, you're doing OK.
2. If you can't walk from home to class to the library, fix that and don't worry about what you look like.
Don't forget that a lot of psychoactive drugs make you gain tons of weight. I'm the Queen -- nay, the EMPRESS -- of weight gain from anti-depressants, from 35 to 70 pounds depending on the drug. Go ahead, ask me how that affects my life? I dare you. Of course, from a doctor's point of view, well, "just eat less and exercise more..." Fortunately, doctors are starting to get the message. Unfortunately, it's taking them an awfully long time! If you're medicated, check with your doctor.
About the gastric bypass: do what you can to bypass the surgery! Believe it or not, the best results from diet plans come through Weight Watchers: people who complete their programs not only lose weight consistently, they also maintain the weight loss. Slow loss is the rule, and stick to it.
For very heavy people, check with your doctor first, and then follow Racer's Rules again:
1. Diet or don't, but EXERCISE! If you're really heavy, try walking 20 minutes three times a week. And wear a cute outfit, and thumb your nose at anyone who looks at you funny. Remember, some folks like chubby chicks -- and you're welcome to be totally sexy while overweight. I, personally, give you permission. Once you can manage a brisk, 20 minute walk three times a week, think about what sort of exercise you might like to do next: swimming is good, although it probably won't lead to weight loss, but the idea isn't to lose weight so much as to learn to feel at home in your body.
My theory is that sexy fat chicks are those who like living in their bodies, who have taken a good look in the mirror and decided that this is their body and they'll keep it rather than rejecting it. Think about how that fits with your self-image: could you be turning people away with your own self-rejecting attitude?
By the way, during my college days, I got a lot of cruel comments about my weight, too. My pdoc says that I wasn't anorexic, you know, since my periods never stopped, but I was down to about 75% of my healthy weight -- maybe a bit less -- and a number of people felt the need to tell me that seeing me distressed them greatly. "How can you go out looking like that? Don't you know how you look?" etc. People who are unhappy with themselves will always look for someone else to make unhappy. Too fat, too thin, too tall, too short, machts nichts -- they'll find something to criticise. Only one way to deal with them: ignore them, learn what you like in you, and laugh at the idiots out there with nothing better to do than make fun of others.
It also helps if you can make one friend to sit around and make fun with: "look at that skinny blonde chick, think hugging her is like hugging a shopping cart or what?" Humor, especially sick humor, can be a godsend. (Just don't sit around the ice cream parlor, right?)
If it weren't for the whole anonymous thing here, and the geography and the age difference, I would be your friend, so don't sell yourself short. Learn to live in your skin and stop rejecting that same skin. Your body wants you to like it, so that it can be happy. Once you give it what it needs, you'll be happier, too.
Good luck -- hell, BEST luck.
poster:Racer
thread:324037
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040327/msgs/329523.html