Posted by lonelygirl on March 27, 2004, at 16:44:21
In reply to Re: juicey funny bits abt u therapists wife, posted by Apperceptor on March 27, 2004, at 15:59:30
That's an interesting question. I personally don't think I would be interested if my male therapist had a boyfriend, because if he's not interested in women, I wouldn't think of him as a potential romantic match. I guess it is kind of silly when you think about it, because I have exactly the same chances (namely, zero) with a gay male therapist as I do with a straight, married one, but I think it would quell the fantasy part of it. The fantasy involves thinking something like, "If only I were beautiful and his wife left him, we could fall in love and live happily ever after." I wouldn't think that way about a gay man because if I were beautiful and his boyfriend left him, well, he still wouldn't like me! That doesn't apply only to therapists, but to men in general. I haven't had very many experiences of having a romantic interest men I later find out are gay, but if I find out that a guy is not interested in women, it immediately makes him seem "off-limits" (romantically) in my mind, in a similar way that women are "off-limits" romantically (to me as a straight female, anyway). I have had female therapists before and never had any interest in their personal lives or spouses or anything.
That's just me though; I know that sometimes, straight female patients form romantic attachments to their female therapists, even though they wouldn't ordinarily think of their female therapist as a potential romantic match.
As for why we would want to involve the therapists' significant others, there are probably several reasons. For one, I want to size up the "competition." See what kind of women he likes. Compare myself. I think that's part of the reason for the topic of this thread; some of us are, well, jealous! It's not very nice, but it sort of makes one feel better to put down the person one envies. Also, I want to be close to him, so I think it's natural to be intrigued by someone who IS close to him -- essentially, someone who is living my fantasy! Finally, a spouse is someone's "other half," so when I am interested in (or, um, obsessed with) someone, his "other half" is a huge part of his life.
poster:lonelygirl
thread:324037
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040327/msgs/329183.html