Posted by Dinah on February 4, 2004, at 12:13:56
In reply to Re: Research » Dinah, posted by fallsfall on February 4, 2004, at 9:21:15
> "So the other day, when talking about something the EMDR lady said, he said he wouldn't have used that terminology with a layperson. I was torn. On the one hand, I had been offended by the terminology. On the other - a layperson??!!!!!"
>
> That is funny. What a double edged sword.:-)
>
> Do you think that researching has helped at all in your progress?It has helped a ton. I'd have never gotten anywhere if I had relied just on my therapist. He hasn't experienced the things I experience, but when I read books from people who have, or when I read the occasional author like Linehan or Levenkron who seem to really "get it" even if they haven't experienced it, it helps me understand myself sooo much better. And understanding why I do the things I do helps me feel better, and may even help me change the behaviors. Some of my biggest breakthroughs came after reading "Skin Game" or "Cutting Levenkron" or Linehan or "The Myth of Sanity" where I really had an ah-hah experience. And sometimes I feel closer to my therapist after reading Yalom (and farther away after reading some insensitive jerk therapist).
> Do you know WHY you do it (other than it being a standard behavior for you - do you do it MORE for psychology than for other things?)
It helps the anxiety to have some idea of what is going on. Forging blindly ahead is not really an option for someone with an anxiety disorder. Getting the lay of the land is a necessity. I do it more for psychology just because I also genuinely enjoy the topic.
>
> My approval need is clearly an "issue". If he is mad at me, I'm bad and very distressed. If I can't tell what he thinks, I'm extremely anxious - I HAVE to know.
>
If he's angry with me I fear he'll abandon me, even if I know he won't. Of course, my therapist is transparent at least as far as what's going on between us.> Thanks for helping me feel less weird...
poster:Dinah
thread:309088
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040131/msgs/309310.html