Posted by gardenergirl on February 3, 2004, at 13:25:31
In reply to Re: So what's this mean?, posted by pinkeye on February 3, 2004, at 12:59:33
KK,
I think Penny said much of what I would say, so I second her. I also wonder if avoiding getting emotionally attached comes out of a fear of being vulnerable. If you can make yourself vulnerable to Bubba and form an emotional attachment, you will learn what defenses you have in place and how to break through them. Then, ideally, you can decide when to hold the defenses up in order to avoid being hurt and when to allow yourself to be vulnerable.I also have trouble with this. Even with my husband of more than eight years (together five years before that). But I find when I do make myself vulnerable to him or to my T, usually by admitting something awful, it feels kind of liberating. AFTER the fact. It sucks in the moment. It helps if I take my glasses off so I can't see. :)
Discussing my dependence/parental transference with my T also felt liberating. And that feels, in some way, like an emotional attachment.
And having a planned, proper goodbye when the time is right is a corrective emotional experience. It still really hurts, but it's not devastating. At least it's not supposed to be.
I feel like I am rambling, but I hope there is some sense in there.
gg
poster:gardenergirl
thread:308879
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040131/msgs/308921.html