Posted by Catmom on January 25, 2004, at 22:54:41
In reply to needing a hug, being refused part II (long), posted by metalflipflop on January 25, 2004, at 22:14:51
Dear Liz,
I really feel for you. My opinion off the top of my head is that we do indeed deserve explanations of the therapist's rationale for a change in conduct. She could very simply tell you whatever her reasons are: something along the lines of 1) I don't want you to be dependent or 2) I only can dedicate X numbers of minutes to each patient every week and those are taken up by session-time or 3) Our relationship has evolved and here's my opinion on why I don't want to use the telephone.
The final point, I think, is that you are left feeling that she does not respect you (I hope that I am not putting words in your mouth). If her response of "that's just how it is" is her concept of an adequate, respectful explanation...well, I cannot agree. But then again I am not in practice. It seems like a cop-out response to me and a cowardly one. Certainly you deserve to know the reasoning. I would think that an ideal is a therapeutic alliance, where you both are working on creating the kind of relationship that's most helpful to you.I also think that therapy can be totally effective without the T dealing in power ploys.
Inconsistency is maddening in general, but even more so in therapy in my opinion. I think that it is probably appropriate and desirable to see some change in the nature of your interactions over time, but not to suddenly face a brand new regime without talking it through.
You have all my sympathies, believe me. And I hope that you understand that I am feeling for you and I don't want to hurt you even more by seeming to condemn your therapist.
Is there any chance that she's hoping that you will confront her and "stand up" for yourself? I don't know if therapists ever engage in that kind of manipulation, but somehow I would not put it past them.
Much compassion; a virtual hug in your direction.
poster:Catmom
thread:305455
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040123/msgs/305460.html