Posted by fallsfall on September 17, 2003, at 9:35:23
In reply to I am really so very confused. (long), posted by kara lynne on September 16, 2003, at 22:19:23
I certainly can relate about why you are so very confused. When someone who is (by definition) "right" feels wrong - how can you tell if you are right (and they are wrong) or if they are right (and you are, as usual, wrong). If that sounded confusing and confused it is because it was.
I'm not going to be much help to you, Kara, with this one. I can understand and sympathize (oh, too well). When we are in therapy we are doubting out judgement, so how can we trust ourselves enough to know when the therapy is bad?
When the pain of my therapy caused me to tell my forever therapist that I was leaving I was completely confused. I saw my pdoc (who works across the hall from her) soon after. I was COMPLETELY unsure of my decision. There was no way for me to analyze and weigh the options and do those kinds of mathy things that make me comfortable. I asked him if I was right to leave. He was the only one who had talked to both of us, the only one who knew both sides of the story. He said that he thought I should leave. I held on to that and managed to leave. I know that leaving was the right thing for me to do - she was hurting me more than helping me. But I trusted her so much, that it took outside intervention (my pdoc, and Babble) to see that maybe she wasn't right.
From reading your post, I don't like what he has said. I think he isn't the right style for you, I think that he may have some of the traits of that first (oh, I am so sorry) therapist. I don't get good vibes. Can you see your counselor and talk to her about this? I needed an authority to tell me it was OK to go.
You have so, so, so much on your plate, Kara Lynne. Both your ex and your therapist are Huge deals. Try to give yourself a little room and a little time. Breathe deeply.
And eat ice cream (I had Red Raspberry Chip last night).
poster:fallsfall
thread:260848
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030905/msgs/260959.html