Posted by galkeepinon on September 17, 2003, at 1:23:16
In reply to I am really so very confused. (long), posted by kara lynne on September 16, 2003, at 22:19:23
kara lynn, *sigh* God I wish I could be of more help to you on this issue. I read your whole post, and I have been where you're at (exactly).
Geez, I wish I could give you advice here, but it may not even be my place, let alone, I really don't know what to say except that I am sorry you are going through this with this therapist.
Therapy is tough, it's not always easy, I don't think I need to even tell you that. I had a similar type of therapist who asked me similar questions, and I questioned whether or not this therapist was going to benefit me and my life in recovery or not, but sometimes that hard to see when you're in it.
This is all about YOU, YOUR LIFE, and what YOU want and need.
I will say this: sometimes therapists *pick at the scabs* in order to first, get to know you a little better, and next, to get you going in therapy. What I mean by *get going* is to get you to talk about what you are feeling, help you to try and change/deal/accept it, without you becoming too dependent on them per say. In my opinion, these are just some of the qualities in a good therapist, however difficult it may seem to a person. I've lived it, and I'm telling about it.
One last thing, the very last sentence in your post states this>>'This makes me think maybe I was the one creating all the havoc in my last relationship--it seems to validate the males in my life telling me I 'over-react' to things. I'm feeling confused and afraid'
***Please, 1st, do not take the full responsibility in your last relationship~it takes two to tango. Maybe you can go back and look at YOUR part in that relationship with this therapist's help in guiding you through it? Maybe that isn't what is reasonable or what you want, it's just a suggestion from me.
***Maybe look at the 'males' in your life. How are you reacting to other males from your past abuse, experiences, etc.? Are you really over-reacting to things, or are the ones who said that to you at some certain part in your life an issue of *consider the source*
I understand totally that you're confused and afraid, and I wish I could wave that wand and things would just be dandy in all of this for you. But I can't.
But I did want you to know that I read your post and I wanted to offer what I could~it's all I can offer. I know for me, that once I got past all the transference issues (and there were many), I was able to benefit more in therapy and felt better about me at the same time.
Hang in there, I'm here for you if you want me to be.
poster:galkeepinon
thread:260848
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030905/msgs/260897.html