Posted by HannahW on September 11, 2003, at 10:40:31
In reply to Re: Should I get a new therapist? » HannahW, posted by fallsfall on September 11, 2003, at 6:24:26
Dinah and Fallsfall--
You're both right that I should talk to her about my feelings of rejection, and I think I can do that. I can let the outcome of that discussion help determine whether I should find someone else. If I could control her response (while keeping within those darn boundaries), she would say, "...but I do enjoy you and care about you." I don't think she will, though. She's just not that warm and fuzzy.
Is my need for that reassurance an emotional flaw that needs to be worked through, or is it perfectly normal and a flaw of hers for not giving it?
Our therapy sessions have felt so sterile. I really don't enjoy them, and leave feeling somewhat empty. In our medical appointments, we used to laugh and joke and visit (although always at my instigation). Now that I'm protecting myself from her, I don't bother to put any effort into being funny and enjoyable.
I want to visit with her in a mutual, two-way relationship and talk about semi-superficial things, but I don't want to bare my soul to her in a one-sided relationship. I'm perfectly willing to bare my soul to another therapist, I'm just not sure about her. It's not too hard for me to respond to her questions and put labels on my feelings, etc., but I think the most effective therapy requires me to actually experience and share the emotions. That's the hard part for me.
Do good therapists always connect emotionally with their clients? Or is it possible for therapy to be effective in a more detached manner? Everyone on this board's therapists sound so warm, and I wish that for myself.
In the end, although I'm considering finding a new therapist because I'm not sure I'll get what I need from her (if indeed I truly need what I think I need), I'm terribly afraid that if I talk to her about not getting what I need she'll agree with me and suggest I find someone else. That would feel like another rejection. <heavy sigh>
poster:HannahW
thread:258948
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030905/msgs/259041.html