Posted by Dinah on September 4, 2003, at 12:58:45
In reply to Re: Fees and meaning » Dinah, posted by Adia on September 4, 2003, at 12:49:53
He gets sort of exasperated when I share my feelings that I'm an annoyance to him. But I feel much as you do. I'm just grateful he's willing to put up with me. I seem to progress at a snail's pace, and moreover, I think I see more progress than he does. Last time he was so frustrated that he asked if I thought he was lying to me about my not being a nuisance, if I didn't trust him.
I answered that it said more of what I thought of myself than what I thought of him.
I wonder if in some ways it gives me a greater feeling of security to feel like I'm paying a bit too much, even while I feel hurt about it. Like I'm making it up to him in a way so he won't be as likely to terminate me for my stubbornness.
It's a hard belief to shake. That belief that I am a burden to him. I really really do think that the majority of people he works with are less difficult than I am. That he primarily does short term CBT work with anxiety and depression and doesn't have the transference stuff that I bring to the therapeutic relationship. It's not that he's bad at it. He's really pretty good with it now. I just get the idea that it's not what happens with the majority of his clientele.
poster:Dinah
thread:256618
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030814/msgs/256933.html