Posted by Dinah on August 11, 2003, at 10:34:14
In reply to Re: also in love with therapist » Dinah, posted by stebby on August 11, 2003, at 10:02:03
I guess that's where I'm really lucky. I don't want anything from him beyond the therapeutic hours. Twice a week and every once in a while when I'm upset maybe an extra. I don't know much about his non therapist self, and I don't even know if I'd like him. The little he's revealed about himself would indicate we don't have a whole lot in common.
Perhaps I'm fooling myself a bit. Perhaps on some level I hope he's a bit fond of me, but it's not really necessary. During the early years of our therapy I know he didn't much like me, but he still was a good therapist.
Once I admitted all of my feelings to him, we talked about all of this a whole lot. For a long time he was angry with me for what he thought was my demands for forever therapy. He finally figured out that I was expressing my fears, not demanding anything from him. And now at this point, he's at least temporarily capitulated. He says I can come to therapy for as long as I want to. He won't fire me. He can't rule out the possibility that he'll move or die, but short of that, he seems resigned to having me as a "lifer". Now that he's accepted that part of me, and answers with amusement instead of anger at my now occasional displays of fear of losing him, it takes up a whole lot less time in therapy. We're able to work on other things now. Perhaps he still hopes that I'll outgrow him, but he's sensitive enough not to say so or to in any way suggest that one day he'll abandon me. I guess he probably will anyway; everyone does don't they, whether or not they intend to. But I'll deal with that when it happens. Right now I'm just happy that he's quit being angry about it.
poster:Dinah
thread:245412
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030711/msgs/250027.html