Posted by Pfinstegg on August 11, 2003, at 10:25:05
In reply to Re: also in love with therapist » stebby, posted by Dinah on August 10, 2003, at 20:53:43
Just my opinion-I think having a strong transference- of whatever kind- is important and necessary for changes to take place in us. I have an intense and powerful one- partly loving and dependent, partly full of rage and hate, partly full of.. everything you can imagine! I don't think it's within our power to try and lessen it, or arbitrarily "work it through". My analyst has said that I need to have the most intense experience with him that I possibly can; we work on it together, and in fact talk about the moment-to-moment changes in my feelings about him a great deal of the time. I find that even harder and more frightening than recounting frightening or shameful episodes from my past. Sometimes he points out analogies to relationships in my past, but often he doesn't- we do know where they come from by now. He also sometimes reveals what his reactions are- what feelings my feelings have caused him to have.
So, I think trying to lessen or diminish a transference is not the way to go. Instead, embracing it and allowing it to happen fully opens the way for us to have new "objects" in our lives, both new "self-objects" within ourselves which are more benign than our old ones, and new outside objects, which are are also more loving and uncritical than our original parental ones were. But, for this to happen, we do need therapists who are skilled at working with transferences, and who fully understand the therapeutic potential which they have.
As to really "working it through". ask me a few years from now- I have no idea yet how that happens!
Pfinstegg
poster:Pfinstegg
thread:245412
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030711/msgs/250026.html