Posted by verne on December 12, 2006, at 15:48:36
In reply to Re: License LONG :) » Quintal, posted by liliths on December 12, 2006, at 14:34:53
Hi Lilith,
When you write, "I tend to overeat when depressed or bored or frozen. I have to be very careful about my weight - right now I'm carrying more bodyfat than I am comfortable with and cannot let it get any worse as it becomes one of the reasons I won't go out." that sounds like me.
I didn't go out for 9 months once - mostly due to anxiety and shame about being a little overweight. I actually ordered food online (not the best variety) and gained even more weight. Overeating and not going out caused more weight gain and so forth. The UPS Driver was my only contact with the outside world.
My excessive sleeping and overeating are classic signs of atypical depression. An MAO Inhibitor is indicated but I have high blood pressure (due to weight gain) and can't risk it. I'm intrigued by the new drug patch Emsam but can't find a doctor willing to prescribe it. I've been diagnosed with PTSD, borderline personality disorder (self injured when I was younger), atypical depression, and a few other things. I'm not bipolar although my last pdoc insisted I was.
When I had reached the high water mark (33 BMI), I installed lots of full spectrum lighting and used a "light box" for a reading lamp. (I have it enclosed in a cube to cut down on the peripheral glare) Anyway, within a few days, I started venturing out for short walks. It was winter with snow on the ground so I felt secure in my parka - no one could see me. I tried to add a block or two on each outing until I was walking a couple miles a day.
But I still didn't lose much weight. I finally tried the low-carb diet and lost about 15lbs in 2 months. I was able to walk 5 miles at a time. But when I tried to donate blood I discovered my blood pressure was high. I then started inderal LA 60mgs which also helped with anxiety.
I've tried many anti-depressants and meds like lamictal in the meantime with very little success. I liked lamictal but gained weight because it made sleeping exquisite. I loved to sleep or nap, day and night. It was the best sleep aid I had ever used. (but not a good thing for atypical depression)
Most of the drugs caused too much agitation (lexapro, abilify) or weight gain. Now I'm back to 30 BMI and afraid to go out anymore. I don't even bother turning on the full spectrum lighting. I just use two weak bulbs in the rooms where I watch tv or use the computer. I barely even read anymore.
Of all the anti-depressants, Cymbalta showed promise and even caused significant weight loss (in one month I lost ten pounds) but it's tricky. One of the cleaner anti-depressants for me except for anaorgasm and extremely hard stools. Had to use Senna and give up sex.
But I ultimately wasn't willing to put up with the side effects and quit cymbalta. I realized I couldn't really think clearly on the stuff either. I tried a little recently (about 20mgs for 3 days) and this time found it too stimulating. I ended up drinking to cope with the agitation - another problem I struggle with.
I haven't kept up with this thread but wanted to mention Emsam as a possibility. Cymbalta may be a long shot. (of course, Emsam is a weak MAO Inhibitor so you couldn't take both)
I also want to say how similar my situation is to yours. Overeating, not going out, ashamed of being overweight, and no motivation.
I'm hoping to get back into meditation (mantra based or centering prayer) and a little yoga or egoscue exercises. I'm starting to walk a little again (winter helps). And turns the lights back on, read, watch less TV, and use the computer less.
I was down to a BMI of 22 last June when I was only taking inderal and klonopin. My doc at the time prescribed klonopin (first benzo for me in several years) and I was swimming for the first time in ten years.
But I started seeing a new pdoc in July and my condition steadily deterioriated. I'm hopeful now that I'm only taking inderal and klonopin again and not seeing the pdoc who thinks I'm bipolar, I'll rediscover the motivation and overcome the fear and shame enough to get out more.
I feel like crap right now but will try to get out for a walk this evening.
verne
poster:verne
thread:712379
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/alter/20061203/msgs/712924.html