Posted by Dr. Bob on July 11, 2010, at 1:46:00
In reply to Re: Is Anybody Responsible for Their Own Feelings? » cass, posted by ron1953 on July 10, 2010, at 11:52:34
> The ongoing push for "civility" clearly illustrates an illogical (and IMO unhealthy) desire to externalize the responsibility for one's feelings.
What about responsibility for one's postings?
> I agree that calm discussion is more desireable than heated argument, but that is is an ideal, not reality. And Bob (and others) seems to be constantly seeking this impossible ideal from a one-sided perspective which says, "If you word everything just right, everything will be peachy". I'm advocating a middle ground where people are encouraged to be aware of and learn to avoid painful and damaging emotional hijackings, to stay in control despite what others may say. ... To practice calm in the face of chaos is transforming, and will often have the effect of calming the attacker.
I agree, it's an impossible ideal. This community will never be 100% civil 100% of the time. But IMO trying to be civil is still worthwhile. And members have, as you say, the right not to remain members.
I advocate staying in control of one's postings despite what others may say. To be civil in the face of emotional hijackings can be transforming. :-)
Bob
a brilliant and reticent Web mastermind -- The New York Times
backpedals well -- PartlyCloudy
poster:Dr. Bob
thread:953893
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20100321/msgs/954068.html