Posted by Justherself54 on April 18, 2008, at 13:17:10
In reply to Re: Husbands Suggestion of Nardil for me » SLS, posted by Racer on April 18, 2008, at 10:12:42
I totally respect your position on MAOI's. Your reasons they are not an option for you should be recognized and respected.
I was one of the pro-Nardil posters. It was like a miracle drug at the beginning and my posts were full of yippees, this is the most amazing med! With my history I should have know better! I apologize if anything in my posts made you feel badly as I can relate to the self-blame and hopelessness of trying to cope with adverse effects from meds.
I know some think MAOI's should be first or second line of treatment as they are very powerful meds for treatment resistant depression. However, in my case so was Zoloft and Lexapro. Unfortunately they all poop out on me within a year, no matter what we've tried to boost them with. Depression and anxiety disorders run rampant in my family. Three family members have had continued success with Effexor. It made me a nervous wreck and I too was beating myself up wondering what the heck was wrong with me?? How come my immediate family can tolerate it and I can't? I've discontinued some meds after a short period of time, in one case one day, and I used to come down on myself for not sticking it out.
I've had friends ask (with one eyebrow raised) why are you going off this one..you seemed to be doing so well..they just don't get the poop out syndrome or intolerable side effects that crop up..and I don't expect them to..I usually just smile and say if you walked into my body right now you'd run out screaming..
After 25 years on this merry-go-round and another med failure due to side effects I refuse to do that anymore. Some may not agree with my rationale of what I'm prepared to tolerate with side effects from any med be it a SSRI, SNRI, TCA or mood stab, and that is if it shoots my anxiety sky high, nope, not going there. If it knocks me out for 12 hours after the first dose and leaves me feeling like I have the world's worse hangover without the booze, not going there either. If it leaves me unable to string a sentence together, not going there. With Nardil, I was vomiting in my sleep every night, can't go there, due to the obvious risk of that particular one. If it makes me gain a ton of weight to the point where I now have a fridge magnet that says "I'm not fat, I'm fluffy", not going there. Perhaps my attitude will come back to bite me in the bum but man oh man enough already..
I'm very happy for people who have lasting success with meds with minimal side effects. I am so not one of them. That is why MAOI's were the next step. My pdoc and I were simply hoping I could get some longevity from them. I knew there would be side effects but I sure wasn't prepared for the hurling in my sleep. I still go into each drug trial with hope. Next step for me is a retrial of Parnate. The first trial got muddied as it coincided with a surgery I had. Hypotension was its major side effect. I'll drop down on my hands and knees again for awhile, but if it doesn't abate within a reasonable amount of time or is severe enough that I'm afraid to walk down a flight of stairs with my grandchild in my arms, not going there.
I asked my pdoc what now if the MAOI's don't work? His answer was "I guess we're going to have to get really creative". Gotta love a pdoc that truly listens and understands my sensitivity to side effects but doesn't give up hope that some combination of something will work.
You are so right..what works for me may not work for you and vice versa..and I totally agree that all experiences are valid and worthy of respect.
I apologize if this post is a bit disjointed. Day one totally off Nardil and I've been having brain zaps continually since titrating down (3 weeks) and they are starting to wear me out.
poster:Justherself54
thread:823803
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20080412/msgs/824044.html