Posted by pretty_paints on February 5, 2005, at 15:05:29
In reply to Re: The Honest Truth » pretty_paints, posted by elizabeth22 on February 5, 2005, at 14:32:40
Hi guys,
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Phillipa - Hi Phillipa, I know what you're saying about the bad sides of schizophrenia. I know. But even so, I can't help feeling like I do. It's annoying.
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Ed - Thank you so much! I thought you were gonna be really offy with me and ignore my post. The stuff you said made sense, and hopefully in time I will be okay with no diagnosis. I see that the diagnosis isn't really too important. You're totally right though about it being a way to explain things. The times I've gotten really depressed have been because I've been trying to move forward and sort out my life and then I can't help wondering what the hell went wrong with it and why my mind is always a mess. The idea that something external is making me ill is a BIG relief. It takes the pressure off totally. And it gives me an answer for things.
By the way, I really like the way you post, putting in the other person's comments and then responding to them. It's good!! I like it!! So let me have a try :)
>Wow, a week is fast.Yes, I will try to cut down more gradually than that. I was just guessing.
>I also wanted to be able to use it as an 'excuse' for some of my behaviour- like the time I threw the toilet seat out of the bathroom window.
YES. TOTALLY.
>I can imagine that you are quite affectionate, is that right? Is your dad affectionate?
Yes, we both are very affectionate and find it hard to relate to my mum.
>I got 7A*s and 3As.
That's BRILLIANT too! Am v impressed. Glad to know I'm not the only one. I went to such a crap school and they made me feel like a freak.
>People on p-babble will accept you whether you're diagnosed with schizophrenia or not ........and so will your family and friends.
Mmm I guess so.
>At the moment, most psychiatrist base their diagnosis on the DSM or the ICD.
What's the ICD??
>I expect that your pdoc decided to write about the mindreading delsion because mindreading delsions were traditionally thought to be especially characteristic of schizophrenia. Without this delusion, your pdoc may be less likely to diagnose schizophrenia and more likly to diagnose something else eg. delusional disorder. The mindreading delusion is one of the so-called SCHNEIDERIAN FIRST-RANK SYMPTOMS ie. thought broadcasting.
I found this really interesting. Do you have any other examples of bizarre delusions? You see, the consultant I saw said my delusions were "bizarre", yet she had read my letter and knew that the mindreading thing was a lie. I can't think of any delusions I've had that have been bizarre (according to this criteria on your link). I PREVIOUSLY thought a couple were bizarre, once I had become well. But now I see that they're not, because even though they were weird and a bit crazy, they weren't IMPOSSIBLE. So I am confused about this. I will maybe ask the consultant.
Is it impossible to get a diagnosis of schizophrenia without bizarre delusions?
>People who's delusions are closely associated with their depression are likely to be diagnosed with psychotic depression.
Can you give me some examples of depressive delusions more specifically (if you know them)? Thanks!
>No! Not at all. She will not be angry or dissapointed. Lots of people want a diagnosis, you are not alone :-)
Thank you for reassuring me!!
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Elizabeth - Thanks for your post
>I hope you don't mind me replying even though I haven't properly 'spoken' to you before.
No, not at all!!
>I've been diagnosed with mixed anxiety and depressive disorder, but I also wanted a diagnosis of something more 'serious' like manic depression.
Thank God! I've found someone else like me! I thought I was the only person who felt like this. I read babble and hear people going "oh I hate meds," "I wish I could be off meds," "I hate being diagnosed with [whatever]," "I just want to be normal!" And I TOTALLY don't feel like that. So I'm sooo glad you feel similar :) Phew.
>I think there can be a stigma attached to 'just' being depressed as people think you're just a miserable kind of person or should stop moping, whereas e.g. with schizophrenia people don't question that it's an illness.
YES DEFINATELY!!!>I suppose I also wanted an 'excuse' for not working, and spending some time just getting better and being depressed just didn't seem to be good enough.
Again, yes, absolutely!!
>I was interested to read that you went to Cambridge, as I did too.
Oooh what college did you go to? And what did you read? And (if you don't mind me asking), were you attending at the time of your illness? Did you defer, or, what happened? Thanks a lot if you feel you can talk to me about it!
>I think you're brave for sharing your feelings.
Thank you so much :)
Again if you don't mind me asking, did you happen to have a similar situation to me in any way? I mean, with your childhood. Is there any reason behind why you might have needed to try and prove yourself, as I did?
You know, when I got into Camb, my history teacher said "Oh do you know, Cambridge has the highest suicide rate of any uni in the country". Hmm, thanks for that sir. What a jolly little statistic (!). But thinking about it now, even though it is a brilliant uni and brilliant fun, I wouldn't be surprised if it is true what he said. BUT I don't think this has anything to do with the uni - my experience so far with the people that go there, the tutors etc, they have all been BRILLIANTLY supportive. They've said they will hold my place, I'm on the 2nd year out now. And they've taken the pressure off, saying I don't have to come back, I should just do what I want, etc etc. BUT I think it is more to do with the TYPE OF PERSON that applies there. I think they often have issues, and are perfectionists or obsessive-type personalitites, or people who need to prove themselves or whatever. Not everyone obviously, but just in general. Maybe this is why, these sorts of people can be prone to depression etc.
Anyway thanks again for your post! I hope you keep in touch and continue to post :)
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URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050202/msgs/453663.html