Posted by pretty_paints on February 7, 2005, at 13:18:54
In reply to Fed up, posted by pretty_paints on February 7, 2005, at 12:37:41
********** I FEEL MY POST WAS A LITTLE CONFUSING SO I AM JUST GOING TO CLARIFY **********
When I said:
"I feel annoyed with myself but I am trying not to because in fact, they are true"...
I didn't mean, the two delusions are true and I believe them NOW. I mean, it is TRUE that at some point last year I DID BELIEVE THEM. I was lieing before, but this time they actually happened,
and
"Well no, because before was a lie, and this is the truth"...
I mean the same thing here.
When I said:
"So overal I do think I said it in order to make myself seem more ill to her, but at the same time, it happened to be true, so therefore, is it so bad?"...
What I meant was, YES maybe I did say it to make myself seem more ill. THAT IS BAD. But at the same time, I AM TELLING THE TRUTH THIS TIME. It just so happens that telling the truth inadvertantly means saying things that make me seem more ill. GET ME?
I think all this churning over what I said and what I didn't say and why I said it, or whether I'm gonna have doctor X or doctor Y, maybe...MAYBE...is due to being on the lower dose of Seroquel. It makes me more obsessive I think. I can't seem to shake my head out of ruminating thoughts. grr GRR GRRRRRRR
I will try to distract myself with reading a book. NOT ABOUT MENTAL ILLNESS!! HA HA. No, maybe Anne of Green Gables.
poster:pretty_paints
thread:452494
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050207/msgs/454373.html