Posted by meds4life on July 17, 2004, at 12:44:04
In reply to Re: Suicide looming large... » kittencat, posted by partlycloudy on July 17, 2004, at 11:31:01
Hi Kittencat and Partlycloudy,
Partlycloudy, we have talked before. I have a message directed to you a few threads up and anyone else who would like to check it out. I think another example of PDocs just pushing pills.
I hope you are doing okay. Take at easy today and be good to yourself. I always like a good book and a bath.Kittencat,
I can truly say I have been at the point where you are at. In fact, I wrote the note and took an overdose of Trazadone and Ambien. I still can't believe I ever got to that point. I was hospitalized, which turned out to be a good thing for me because I was finally able to get on a good anti-depressant and learned a lot about myself. I finally was prompted to see a therapist (I always believed I didn't have the time) Now I make the time because I need it for me. It's just a release to talk to someone about all your bad feeling without judgement. I remember when people told me I would feel better. I listened and said "mmm, hmmm" but did not believe or absorb that information. However, please believe that there is a chance you can feel better and suicide is the ultimate permanent solution. To say I am glad I did not succeed is a huge understatement. I would have left my beautiful son behind and he would have been hurt forever by a decision I made when I wasn't able to reason normally. I remember feeling like everyone would be better off without me, which now that I am out of the depression, I know is not true. Depression can do funky things to your thinking, especially in the feeling hopeful department. A lack of hope for the future is a symptom of depression and if you can get that treated somehow that hope can come back. I know it! I will stay on meds 4 life, hence my screen name, to avoid that pit again at all costs. If you have to, voluntary get into a hospital. It really helped me to be with other people suffering and to get my meds worked out. I also stayed in an outpatient program, which was nice for support out of the hospital environment. It's scary, but fascinating when you here other people's stories. Please keep posting if you need support, I'll keep reading and watching for your posts. Sorry for the length of post, I was hoping I might say something that will help. BTW-I have a new kitten who I adore. Did you pick your screen name because you love cats?
poster:meds4life
thread:367118
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040714/msgs/367139.html