Posted by SLS on July 17, 2004, at 14:15:35
In reply to Suicide looming large..., posted by kittencat on July 17, 2004, at 11:11:32
Hi.
> I'm still a fairly new member, but haven't checked in in at least a month. I am desperate.
It seems that you have plenty of friends here.
> The crushing, agonizing pain of depression...I can't get a reprieve.
I know.
Every now and then, lie back, close your eyes, clear your mind, think of nothing, and take a long deep breath in through your nose and let it out slowly through your mouth. Just for a few seconds, let there be quiet.
> No one understands.
I know. Well, almost no one.
> Everyone means well...
I know. Poor fools.
> if I get a few moments of anxiety-induced "up-ness", they are satisfied & go away, thinking I am better.
I know. Wishful thinking.
> I'm not better. I've reached out all I can reach out.
I know. Keep reaching, though.> I'm so alone.
No. You're not.
> I feel worthless, hopeless, depondent & panicked. I can't stop crying & feeling all this grief. No medicine ever works well enough, or long enough for me. Why am I here?
That is perhaps the greatest and least answerable question that a seeking mind can ever ask. You will probably find an answer that works for you eventually, but not in the state that you are in right now.
> I just want it all to go away. I'm so unhappy...it permeates every cell of my being. It hurts so bad...
I know. It can be intense and seemingly unending. The good news is that depression can usually be treated successfully. The bad news is that it can take quite a bit of trial and error. I'm afraid that you'll have to hold on for at least a little while longer. However, this worst of times will pass. You'll see.
> Can anyone share experiences?
I really don't have the mental energy to do much more than to write this short post.
> Can anyone help me stay alive??
Yes. You have to help us help you, though. You are doing a pretty good job of that here.
> Or tell me why I should?
You'll just have to trust me on this one. You'll know why when the time comes.
- Scott
poster:SLS
thread:367118
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040714/msgs/367164.html