Posted by temoigneur on July 22, 2004, at 23:46:50
In reply to Suicide looming large..., posted by kittencat on July 17, 2004, at 11:11:32
> I'm still a fairly new member, but haven't checked in in at least a month. I am desperate.
>
> The crushing, agonizing pain of depression...I can't get a reprieve. No one understands. Everyone means well...if I get a few moments of anxiety-induced "up-ness", they are satisfied & go away, thinking I am better. I'm not better. I've reached out all I can reach out.
>
> I'm so alone. I made the mistake of saying "suicide" to a friend years ago, & got slapped with a seventy-two hour hold in a county mental health facility for the uninsured. I'll never forget that experience. That is NOT what I need.
>
> I feel worthless, hopeless, depondent & panicked. I can't stop crying & feeling all this grief. No medicine ever works well enough, or long enough for me. Why am I here?
>
> I just want it all to go away. I'm so unhappy...it permeates every cell of my being. It hurts so bad...
>
> Can anyone share experiences? Can anyone help me stay alive?? Or tell me why I should?Oh baby, life can be good, let me share something with you, I have severe Anxiety, for ten years I was suffering, I've been through everything, from therapist, neurologist, ...exorcists, I'm also gay, there I just came out, and I live in an extremely conservative community. The people here pronounce homosexuals as damned. And we moved here with my mother's dysfunctional family, my grandfather was a cruel jerk, who looked for opportunities to attack others with his sarcasm and make them stumble with his loaded questions..... but kitten, I found exactly what you said, I felt all alone, at time I was desperately fighting for a reason not to kill myself, I could go into more detail, but I want to tell you that I have finally come upon an effective combination of med's and I can start putting my life together. and things are only getting better, it's like, health is beyond the sick person's comprehension, the two minds don't understand eachother, but people remember, I remeber, and I obviously don't know what you're going through, but hang in there, it can get better, there are so many advances in medicine, unfortunately psychiatry hasn't seemed to evolve at the same rate other medical disciplines have, but it is evolving rapidly all the same. A professor at a college, I was given this quote second hand, so I don't even know what he taught, but he made the ambitious statement that mental heath problems as we know them, won't exist ten years from now, what I'm going to do is give you the address of a beautiful lady in Toronto, she suffered horribly with depression, and anxiety, she wanted to die, but somehow she overcame it, just a minute, here name is Earla, she runs a support group now, she said she used to be her psychiatrist worst patient, now she's his best, there are wonders, here and now for some, here email dunBarLamont@aol.com hang in there, you're too beautiful to leave, this world needs you:)
Ben
poster:temoigneur
thread:367118
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040719/msgs/369233.html