Posted by Krysti on November 18, 2002, at 16:56:35
In reply to Re: Is there ever a normal after a BP diagnosis?, posted by fluffy on November 14, 2002, at 11:19:05
Hi Katy,
Sorry it took me so long to get back to you. I think most of us go through that - thinking we brought it on ourselves, thinking it is just anxiety, thinking we should be able to control it. From what I've read - most Bipolars are control freaks. Probably because we've spent so much time trying to control our emotions. Did you ever feel like you were "pretending to be like other people"? I went through a long period of time where I would answer everyone based on what I thought was the right response. I just didn't know anymore. Somebody could have died and I wouldn't know how to respond anymore. I'd watch everyone else to see how they were responding. Pretty weird, huh?
I promise you once the anxiety goes away, it will be amazing to realize it wasn't all in your head. It's the anxiety that makes you think that. As far as believing in God would make it go away, I'd ask them if they had diabetes, if they think believing in God would make it go away. It's a chemical imbalance just like diabetes is, it's just a different chemical. And, believe me it took me a LONG time to realize that which is why I suffered for so long. It is very hard to understand a mental illness until you have it. I wish everyone could have anxiety if for one day just so there wouldn't be such a stigma about this stuff. Once you've experienced it, it is very humbling. I used to think I was above all that too : ) I used to think people should be able to will things like that also. Now I know better.
I am lucky that I have some friends who have had anxiety so they at least understand that part of it. As far as your family and friends, have you ever had them read something about it? That's what I did with my mother - she had a hard time it understanding before that.
One thing though, don't settle for feeling like a space cadet. You might have to go through that to give the medication enough time to work, but after a while, if it isn't making you feel better, try something else. There are so many meds out there and everyone reacts to them differently. Find one (or a combo) that works for you and makes you feel better.
I've got to go for now, but write back and let me know how you are doing. I just switched to a new mood stabilizer because I got depressed on the old one. Then when I added an SSRI to it, my anxiety started coming back. I'm now on Trileptal and I feel better than I have since this started. I will keep you posted though, since that may not last. But, for now I'm enjoying it.
Hope you are doing better : )
Krysti
poster:Krysti
thread:127130
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20021116/msgs/128170.html