![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 24 of 24. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by B2chica on June 7, 2006, at 14:16:53
well, it seems my life is changing big time. i just found out i'm pregnant.
now this is/should be good news as my hubby and i were trying. luckily i didn't have to start on hormones as my doc suggested.
this has just been bringing up a lot of unsettled feelings and i hope you can bare with me cuz i have a feeling cr@p's gonna be hitting the fan soon.now my pdoc knew we were trying and was concerned that i wasn't seeing a T. so he suggested one that he knew, i found out that her specialty area is with post-partum(SP?) dpression and such. so this might be good. i might stay with her a while.
i do have some concerns about the upcoming primary exam though. **trigger** starts.
although i normally get through regular pap exams ok i'm worried about this one. they say it's VERY thorough. plus i just read where the ultrasound is often a vaginal ultrasound????? this REALLY scares me. and i'm kind freaked out by it. has anyone been through this? what's it like?
not to mention ALLLLLLLLL the 'mother' issues i've got going on. but after all that, i know i'm happy about this, i mean it's what we wanted...it's just hard. i guess i just wish i could skip the pregnancy part and just have the kid...if that makes sense.b2c
Posted by llrrrpp on June 7, 2006, at 14:24:05
In reply to my life will never be the same...a good way, posted by B2chica on June 7, 2006, at 14:16:53
B2,
i have a lot of the same fears you do. I'm not a mother, so I can't add anything substantial to that part of your post.But I did want to say CONGRATULATIONS!!! you guys were trying- and now! you have happy news. Okay, and a lot of worries. But it sounds like you're going to get some help to make it through this big transition. Will you keep us posted on how things develop? I will be thinking about you :)
best wishes,
-ll
Posted by orchid on June 7, 2006, at 14:24:33
In reply to my life will never be the same...a good way, posted by B2chica on June 7, 2006, at 14:16:53
Wow.Congratulations. It is such a sweet news.
And hang in there - whatever troubles comes because of pregnancy is worth it :-) I hope you will find all the strength you need to go through it peacefully and happily.
Posted by Larry Hoover on June 7, 2006, at 15:03:45
In reply to my life will never be the same...a good way, posted by B2chica on June 7, 2006, at 14:16:53
> well, it seems my life is changing big time. i just found out i'm pregnant.
> now this is/should be good news as my hubby and i were trying. luckily i didn't have to start on hormones as my doc suggested.Congratulations! Pregnant women fair glow. Like an inner light.
Hey, B, you're shoulding on yourself, ya know?
Any change is a challenge. Even a wonderful change.
It's okay to be ambivalent. It's okay to wonder if you're ready. The gods thought you were ready.
I swore I'd never have children. I swore that I'd break that cycle, even if it meant I didn't reproduce. But I was a Big Brother for six years. And they taught me how to be a good dad. And I won Big Brother of the Year. It didn't matter, though. I was still very scared to become a father, at 34.
I wouldn't trade it, for the world.
It changes *everything*.
Again, congratulations.
Lar
Posted by Tamar on June 7, 2006, at 15:52:14
In reply to my life will never be the same...a good way, posted by B2chica on June 7, 2006, at 14:16:53
CONGRATULATIONS! That’s wonderful news.
> now my pdoc knew we were trying and was concerned that i wasn't seeing a T. so he suggested one that he knew, i found out that her specialty area is with post-partum(SP?) dpression and such. so this might be good. i might stay with her a while.
That sounds like a VERY good idea.
> i do have some concerns about the upcoming primary exam though. **trigger** starts.
> although i normally get through regular pap exams ok i'm worried about this one.I didn’t have an exam like that in any of my pregnancies, but different providers do different things. Remember, you can always decide not to have the exam. I know some people will say that it’s important to have every test available to ensure the baby will be healthy, but I have to admit I don’t see things that way. I think sometimes the tests are not so necessary as to justify the risk – and in this case the risk is to your mental health. If you do decide to have the exam, maybe it would help to talk to the doctor first and explain a little about their situation. It might help him/her understand and be gentle with you.
> they say it's VERY thorough. plus i just read where the ultrasound is often a vaginal ultrasound????? this REALLY scares me. and i'm kind freaked out by it. has anyone been through this? what's it like?
I had a vaginal ultrasound in my third pregnancy. The device was about the same size and shape as an average vibrator, and felt very much like one too (without the vibrations!). My experience wasn’t at all painful or uncomfortable. I think they can only use it up to about seven weeks from the date of your last period, so you might manage to avoid it. After about seven weeks a vaginal ultrasound device isn’t usually as effective because the embryo is too big to be scanned that way. But it might depend on the position of the baby in your uterus. I’m pretty sure that after twelve weeks it would be impossible to get any useful data from a routine vaginal ultrasound.
> not to mention ALLLLLLLLL the 'mother' issues i've got going on. but after all that, i know i'm happy about this, i mean it's what we wanted...it's just hard. i guess i just wish i could skip the pregnancy part and just have the kid...if that makes sense.
You have good support from your pdoc and your T and your husband, and you WILL get through it. And if anything really triggers you, you don’t have to do it. At the very least, you don’t have to do it then and there. With a few very rare exceptions, any procedure can wait.
Pregnancy can be a very exciting time. I hope you will feel beautiful and happy. There’s so much to enjoy: the first time you see the baby on ultrasound, the funny butterflies-in-your-tummy feeling when you feel the baby moving inside you, hearing the baby’s heartbeat through a stethoscope, the way your tummy moves by itself in the bath during the later stages of pregnancy. Once again, congratulations!
Posted by Poet on June 7, 2006, at 22:02:40
In reply to my life will never be the same...a good way, posted by B2chica on June 7, 2006, at 14:16:53
Hi B2Chica,
Congratulations!
I don't know much about ultrasounds, but I do know your husband can be there with you. Maybe if he's holding your hand you will be less scared?
Talk all of this over with your new T, too. If she specializes in post partum depression, she ought to be pretty good with prenatal anxiety.
I hope your baby triggers nothing, but joy.
Poet
Posted by muffled on June 7, 2006, at 23:05:50
In reply to my life will never be the same...a good way, posted by B2chica on June 7, 2006, at 14:16:53
CONGRATS!!!!!!
Ya you got that right, your life will never be the same! You will be challenged unbeleivably, and you will also have such deep joys.
My kids have survived me so far. I'm sure I have proly done some damage along the way, which breaks my heart, but I got it together more and now I have a more special bond and commitment to my kids cuz of what I've done.(I was depressed and did a certain amt. of yelling and spazzing when they were very young :-(
Anyhow, things will go right and wrong and its all ok.
You just do what you know is right for you and the kid.
Pregnancy was fascinating for me on the first. I had a book that showed all the weeks of development and it was SO COOL!!!
I have 2 kids and have never had a vaginal ultrasound.
They wanted to do an amniocentisis on my 2nd but I said no as I didn't want to risk anything. She turned out just fine.(if STUBBORN)
First birth I was kinda shy bout it all, 2nd birth I just ripped all my clothes off and got down to business!
You should be able to have planned c-section as well if vaginal birth might be an issue for you. Lotsa people do that in Canada.
Anyhow your T will no doubt go thru all that with you.
Does your T have kids?
Anyhow I burbbling on cuz I SO exited for you!!!!
A wee little baby!!!Ya!
Your gonna be a great Mom, cuz you CARE!
Take care Chicamamma!
Muffly
Posted by fairywings on June 8, 2006, at 3:03:27
In reply to my life will never be the same...a good way, posted by B2chica on June 7, 2006, at 14:16:53
Congratulations! ; ) I hope you really enjoy this pregnancy. I loved my first one.
I'm glad you're with a T, esp one who can help you if you have struggles after the birth.
I had vaginal ultrasound with all of our kids. What specifically are your fears? Like someone said it's not too bad. The 2nd one I had done they asked if I wanted to put the condom on the "probe" - tht was weird.
fw
Posted by ClearSkies on June 8, 2006, at 6:24:09
In reply to my life will never be the same...a good way, posted by B2chica on June 7, 2006, at 14:16:53
I want to add my congratulations !
I've had one of those vaginal ultrasounds, though not due to any pregnancy, and my experience was like the others' said here.
You'll be a lovely mum.
CS
Posted by B2chica on June 8, 2006, at 9:11:36
In reply to Re: my life will never be the same...a good way » B2chica, posted by Larry Hoover on June 7, 2006, at 15:03:45
first, THANK you all so very much for your support...i really need it. it's different to get it from people who have an idea of the things your REALLy fearful of. you know, typically people think oh she's afraid she won't be a good mother, well, you all know i'm just afraid i'll be like mine...
thanks for the words of encouragement.
**********************
>>It's okay to be ambivalent. It's okay to wonder if you're ready. The gods thought you were ready.>>I swore I'd never have children. I swore that I'd break that cycle, even if it meant I didn't reproduce. But I was a Big Brother for six years. And they taught me how to be a good dad. And I won Big Brother of the Year. It didn't matter, though. I was still very scared to become a father, at 34.
thanks Lar you don't know how much those words mean.
****************
thanks so much muff. i forget you have kidos. that makes me happy. i agree with the amnio, im too scared it would hurt things worse.
thanks.****************
Hi FW. i guess my fears especially about the vaginal ultrasound is that it would be triggering to me (regarding past SA). especially if they want to keep that thing inside me for more than 30 seconds. that's why the pap i can get through cuz it doesn't last long. but i'm worried that something like the vag US will take a while...
Posted by fairywings on June 8, 2006, at 11:04:52
In reply to Re: my life will never be the same...a good way, posted by B2chica on June 8, 2006, at 9:11:36
> Hi FW. i guess my fears especially about the vaginal ultrasound is that it would be triggering to me (regarding past SA). especially if they want to keep that thing inside me for more than 30 seconds. that's why the pap i can get through cuz it doesn't last long. but i'm worried that something like the vag US will take a while...My first OB knew about my SA. She went with me to anything that was going to be invasive and did it herself where possible. She did the vaginal ultra sound herself. The 2nd one knew, so she was very hands off/not much testing. I had 4 diff. OB's, all were different. By 3 and 4 I asked right up front how they were going to handle various things.
I hope it goes well for you. Does your OB know enough to protect you through the US and the pregnancy?
fw
Posted by B2chica on June 8, 2006, at 11:27:51
In reply to Re: my life will never be the same...a good way » B2chica, posted by fairywings on June 8, 2006, at 11:04:52
i don't know if she directly knows but i think she has some idea...but she has always been Very gentle and patient, so if she has anything to do with it it probably will be ok. but i am worried that someone else will be doing this...i just hope she's in the room and such.
thanks FW.
Posted by Larry Hoover on June 8, 2006, at 15:08:11
In reply to Re: my life will never be the same...a good way, posted by B2chica on June 8, 2006, at 9:11:36
> >>It's okay to be ambivalent. It's okay to wonder if you're ready. The gods thought you were ready.
>
> >>I swore I'd never have children. I swore that I'd break that cycle, even if it meant I didn't reproduce. But I was a Big Brother for six years. And they taught me how to be a good dad. And I won Big Brother of the Year. It didn't matter, though. I was still very scared to become a father, at 34.
>
> thanks Lar you don't know how much those words mean.Well, considering those words were custom-fit for you, maybe I do. Maybe I do.
All will be well. Especially when folk like us get into parenting. That's what I realized. Folk like us know what matters. We just know.
Lar
Posted by happyflower on June 9, 2006, at 10:10:42
In reply to Re: my life will never be the same...a good way » B2chica, posted by Larry Hoover on June 8, 2006, at 15:08:11
SOOOOO AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so happy for you! Yup, your life will never be the same, it will fill your life with love you have never felt before, being a mommy (most of the time) that you will wonder how you ever lived without kids.
I loved my first pregnacy, everything was exciting and new, the dreaming everything. It will be fun to be there right along with you!
About the exams, sometimes it is important you have them, but I am sure it will be upsetting no matter what. I really dread it and I haven't been abused in that way. I would just be upfront with you doctor, and hopefully they will know how to be sensitive to this. I would think they would receive special training concerning this. But it is never easy. Take care, eat healthy and I hope you NEVER get morning sickness! (boy do I have the stories)LOL
I am so happy for you B2 :-)
Posted by B2chica on June 14, 2006, at 10:42:33
In reply to my life will never be the same...a good way, posted by B2chica on June 7, 2006, at 14:16:53
Thanks ALL for the Great support.
had the ultrasound yesterday. they did both kinds. i was really nervous about the vaginal US but the nice thing is they let me insert it, so there wasn't someone 'putting it in', poking or hurting me that didn't know what they were doing. it was ok at first she was very skilled. but of course there was a student in there with her and she wanted a go at it. i said it was ok...but she was nervous and afraid to move things around which made it more uncomfortable for me and it was taking FOREVER...i kept taking deeeep breaths and then looking up at the screen at baby. this helped. i think the main lady started to notice my discomfort cuz she finally 'ended' the session by taking back over.
overall i made it through. and as much as i wanted hubby there to see the baby heartbeat i was kinda glad he wasn't there because of...well, all my discomfort. but i'm glad it's over and i'm very glad everything looks good so far.i'm glad i heard about that kind of US before i had it done, if i'd have gone in there not knowing??!! it would have been quite a scene!
Thanks ALL!
b2c
Posted by fairywings on June 14, 2006, at 11:15:51
In reply to made it through the first round...*trigger*, posted by B2chica on June 14, 2006, at 10:42:33
I'm so glad it went as well as it did B2 - it's a huge step! Way to go! And congratulations again! ; ) Are you feeling okay now? Was your hubby curious to get all the details? When do you go back to the OB?
BTW, if you ever don't want a student in the room they will abide by that. I never wanted one in the room with our kids because they'd mess things up......once really badly. And our gp always said it's your choice 100% - which made me feel better when it was too personal.
fw
Posted by B2chica on June 14, 2006, at 12:10:59
In reply to Re: made it through the first round...*trigger* » B2chica, posted by fairywings on June 14, 2006, at 11:15:51
Thanks FW. i'm feeling better about the baby, knowing it is ok. i had had several dreams about it missing limbs and such that were quite upsetting (think it's all the meds i was on kinda worry stuff). but US showed all four in their proper places!
my hubby was kinda curious but they gave us a couple pictures to take home so hubby got to see baby afterall.
i go back in one month. but i don't know when i'll get another US done.
nice to know i can say no. i guess it's just hard for me. but it's done and all went well. so...yay.
Thanks!
b2c
Posted by happyflower on June 14, 2006, at 14:45:38
In reply to Re: made it through the first round...*trigger* » fairywings, posted by B2chica on June 14, 2006, at 12:10:59
Hey B2!
I am not surprised how well you did. I have seen you being so strong lately and I knew you can handle all of this. Wasn't it sooo worth it to see your baby? If you have another one, you will even see more detail, it is soo cool.
Good job!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by B2chica on June 14, 2006, at 15:09:21
In reply to Re: made it through the first round...*trigger*, posted by happyflower on June 14, 2006, at 14:45:38
Posted by milly on June 15, 2006, at 6:18:30
In reply to made it through the first round...*trigger*, posted by B2chica on June 14, 2006, at 10:42:33
Oh wow B2c
I haven't been around for a while (but that can wait) I'm soooo excited for you, an itsy bitsy B2c!!! how adorable You did real good with the ultra sound (it is never a bundle of laughs but you did brilliantly) and when you see that little heart beating on the screen it's amazing what you can 'get through' for them
Well done
milly
Posted by B2chica on June 15, 2006, at 9:31:03
In reply to Re: made it through the first round...*trigger* » B2chica, posted by milly on June 15, 2006, at 6:18:30
>> an itsy bitsy B2c!!!
aaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
thanks milly!
Posted by happyflower on June 15, 2006, at 10:19:02
In reply to Re: made it through the first round...*trigger* » milly, posted by B2chica on June 15, 2006, at 9:31:03
I am so excited about this, it will be fun watching you grow into a B2 mommy! Keep us updated! Sooooo, a big question..... would you prefer a boy or girl first? ;-) Hey when is that little bugger due anyways? lol
Posted by B2chica on June 15, 2006, at 10:45:35
In reply to Any names picked out?, posted by happyflower on June 15, 2006, at 10:19:02
well....all great questions...
honestly...i've been SOOOOO paranoid with my medications and such i am just paranoid the little one's gonna have an extra nose or no feet so right now i'm just praying SUPER hard that it's 100% healthy....
BUT with that aside, my hubby's always been partial to a little girl. depending on how this pregnancy goes it may be our only one (not sure) so if that's the case i'd have to wish for a little girl. but if we have more than one it could be either.
names??? cr@p...well, i think we've thought of a couple but nothing we've really decided on. i think we're still in the (please make it to second trimester with no miscarriage) stage.
don't really have a clue for boy's names. but a couple for girls. so if you have any boy suggestions, let me know.
say...i kinda like happyflower, or how bout orchid??? hehe. that child would love me huh.
i'm due the last week of january, so ya. long way's off yet. but i tell ya, i'm glad it will be cold when i'm getting huge. my sister n law was big in the fall (she just had her's in april) so she's got lots of maternity sweaters and stuff that i can use.thanks! HF
b2c.
Posted by happyflower on June 17, 2006, at 14:57:03
In reply to Re: Any names picked out? » happyflower, posted by B2chica on June 15, 2006, at 10:45:35
>
> names??? cr@p...well, i think we've thought of a couple but nothing we've really decided on. i think we're still in the (please make it to second trimester with no miscarriage) stage.You will be fine, B2! Hey my son's name is Bobby, how about that one? LOL My daughters name is Katie. I guess you could use Happyflower if it was still in the 70's. LOL
> say...i kinda like happyflower, or how bout orchid??? hehe. that child would love me huh.
> i'm due the last week of january, so ya. long way's off yet. but i tell ya, i'm glad it will be cold when i'm getting huge. my sister n law was big in the fall (she just had her's in april) so she's got lots of maternity sweaters and stuff that i can use.
So cool! My birthday is Feb. 5, so if you have a girl on that day you HAVE to call it happyflower! LOL I am sure your DH won't mind. Free clothes is cool, don't like spending money on those type of clothes. Target has nice clothes too.
This is so exciting! I love living this through you! I always wanted more kids, but now I have a grandson, and you know what he is walking at 8 months old! So just think next year at this time you could have a crawling little monester on your hands. LOL
Have you felt the bubbles in your belly yet? It is so cool! :-)Hugs,
Happyflower
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Psychology | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.