![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 31. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by sassyfrancesca on March 6, 2009, at 12:30:16
I try not to talk about this stuff too much (and I know I should leave him), so don't need advice, but outraged thoughts/ideas/comments would be nice (LOL, LOL)....I've contacted another t to talk about my situation. It is getting to me right now and need to vent....
Have I come on to you?
Patted his lap, as if he wanted me to sit there
I bumped into him playfully, and he threw me on couch...3 times.....
Do you want to get kissed, do you want to get naked, do you want to get laid?
Who wouldn't fall in love with you?
My colleagues would tell me to run fast and far, but I will never abandon you.
How is it that every week, you take me on a journey where I should not go?
This is beginning to look like a personal relationship.
It is hard for US to end the session, and hard for US to say goodbye.
I've failed you and I need to work on that.
Something between us could happen if he was feeling sad or lonely (what happened to his wife he said he was deeply in love with?)
You fit right under my arm.
Every man in your life has failed yo (including him!)
I am afraid I am going to fall, and it would ruin my life.
I know that you would make a wonderful love partner.
Do you think that if I kissed you it would take away the pain?
I am human and can be tempted....curious, torn, scared and conflicted (he said)
If I were to stick my tongue down your throat you would reject me.
He poured water in my glass, and said, "let me fill you up in a manner of speaking."
you are in my heart and in my head.
Are you wearing a bra? having an orgasm?
If I were not married, I would probably go for it.
I have written him a scathing letter on leading me on, etc....and may post it later.
Most recently he closed his eyes and pursed his lips..I told him that if he did it 8 times I would kiss him (teasing, of course), well he DID it...I didn't do anything.
He had the audacity the next week to say: "Please promise me you will never kiss me on the lips."
arrrghhhh......I know what I need to do, but don't want to leave him right now.
When he is good he is wonderful, when he gets all cold (he calls it "self-protective") and distant, I cannot talk to him.
He actually laid on top of me awhile ago. I was sitting on couch leaning back. He said: "Do you want to feel my full body weight?!
He took my wrists and pulled me on top of his chest.
What a hypocrite!
Thank you for listening to my rant; I needed to get that out, and would love to hear your thoughts; I will print them out and read them, so I don't go totally nutz.
Posted by Phillipa on March 6, 2009, at 12:59:13
In reply to Sexual Misconduct/ What my T has said and Done, posted by sassyfrancesca on March 6, 2009, at 12:30:16
Sassy okay I don't see a T but this guy is way out of line and needs to be reported. That's how I feel. You are being hurt. I don't want you hurt after all you've been through in life. Sorry if this sounds mean but this T has way overstepped the boundaries of theraputic realtionships. Just my thought. Love and hugs Phillipa
Posted by BayLeaf on March 6, 2009, at 13:36:42
In reply to Sexual Misconduct/ What my T has said and Done, posted by sassyfrancesca on March 6, 2009, at 12:30:16
If you don't want advice, and you certainly *know* what the reaction will be...what is it that you need? How can babblers help you to do what you know you need to do?
You've been abused by a counselor before. You know what you need to do. It's horrendously difficult - but the path is clear.
I feel like you WANT to read our reactions, but - you already know...you already know what we will all say.
So, what is it that you need to help you do it? I want to help you do what you KNOW you need to do. What will it take for you to take one step away from him? He is an abuser. You know this.
Bay
Posted by sassyfrancesca on March 6, 2009, at 13:55:51
In reply to Re: Sexual Misconduct/ What my T has said and Done, posted by BayLeaf on March 6, 2009, at 13:36:42
>Are you new here? Haven't seen you before...if so...welcome!
If you don't want advice, and you certainly *know* what the reaction will be...what is it that you need? How can babblers help you to do what you know you need to do?
i realize no one can help me (just like when I got a divorce after 31 years of abuse); had to do it myself.
I am not sure what I need. I did however need....to vent this stuff....and hoped I wouldn't be criticized. Needed to be heard.
>
> You've been abused by a counselor before. No...this is the same one. You know what you need to do. It's horrendously difficult - but the path is clear.
>
> I feel like you WANT to read our reactions, but - you already know...you already know what we will all say.
>
> So, what is it that you need to help you do it? I want to help you do what you KNOW you need to do. What will it take for you to take one step away from him? He is an abuser. You know this.It is surreal and bizarre; I wish I could explain it better...it is so difficult to believe he is abusive. I know that is irrational. It's like being brainwashed, it is so unbelievable, you wonder if the experience is real.
Also, it is that intermittent reinforcement;...good and bad, etc...
There are so many variables, I cannot even begin to talk about them.
Simply needed to be heard. That is what we all need. Thanks.>
> Bay
Posted by sassyfrancesca on March 6, 2009, at 14:06:24
In reply to Re: Sexual Misconduct/ What my T has said and Done » sassyfrancesca, posted by Phillipa on March 6, 2009, at 12:59:13
((((Philippa))): you are always so sweet and kind.....
Thankyou.....Love, Sassy
Posted by fleeting flutterby on March 6, 2009, at 14:35:12
In reply to Sexual Misconduct/ What my T has said and Done, posted by sassyfrancesca on March 6, 2009, at 12:30:16
Sassy- I think it was good for you to vent. it must have been kinda hard for you to do..... with that deep down wish that things could be the way you fantasize them to be, and yet know also that they can't be that way.
If you don't mind me saying-- I think this particular T. is a NUT! He is wacko and doesn't even have a clue! He cares, only to a certain point, what he's done and doing to you-- the more important thing, it seems to me, is that his ego is stroked by your yearning for him. ugh.... makes me have a bad taste in my mouth. :o(
He has put himself and his ego before you...... I'm sorry he's done that... it's so wrong I can't even find enough bad words to express it.
I had an email friend, maybe I've told you before?.... anyway.... she was married and had a sexual relationship with her T. It messed her up beyond confusion and torment.... she tried to commit suicide... was in ICU for 5 days.
I think these kinds of T.s are heartless, selfish messed up sick people in disguise as helpers.
Sassy-- please take a step towards self love and acknowledge what this is doing to you..... you are worth getting REAL help and not from a wolf in sheep disguise.
I hope I've not said anything that offends, and also that I haven't said anything against the rules here at babble(I do worry so much about that-- would be devastating for me to be banned!! yikes..... often becomes difficult for me to post as the fear comes me away)
best to you
flutterby-mandy
Posted by sassyfrancesca on March 6, 2009, at 14:45:42
In reply to Re: Sexual Misconduct/ What my T has said and Done » sassyfrancesca, posted by fleeting flutterby on March 6, 2009, at 14:35:12
>Oh, Flutterby, you are so sweet!
Sassy- I think it was good for you to vent. it must have been kinda hard for you to do..Thankyou, yes it was; I have been holding on to that list for years!!
... with that deep down wish that things could be the way you fantasize them to be, and yet know also that they can't be that way. yes, that is it. When I went to the American Counseling Convention in Hawaii last year, he was there and told me he was looking for me at the dance!
>
> If you don't mind me saying-- I think this particular T. is a NUT! He is wacko and doesn't even have a clue! He cares, only to a certain point, what he's done and doing to you-- the more important thing, it seems to me, is that his ego is stroked by your yearning for him.That is what my girlfriend sez.
ugh.... makes me have a bad taste in my mouth. :o(
>
> He has put himself and his ego before you...... I'm sorry he's done that..Thankyou!. it's so wrong I can't even find enough bad words to express it.
>
> I had an email friend, maybe I've told you before?....Yes, i remember.anyway.... she was married and had a sexual relationship with her T. It messed her up beyond confusion and torment.... she tried to commit suicide... was in ICU for 5 days.
That is so sad; what has happened to her? He should lose his license!
>
> I think these kinds of T.s are heartless, selfish messed up sick people in disguise as helpers. I agree!
>
> Sassy-- please take a step towards self love and acknowledge what this is doing to you..... you are worth getting REAL help and not from a wolf in sheep disguise.I know that is true. I called another t; will see about making an appointment.
>
> I hope I've not said anything that offends,Absolutely not...you've said what I needed to hear.
and also that I haven't said anything against the rules here at babble(I do worry so much about that-- would be devastating for me to be banned!! yikes..... often becomes difficult for me to post as the fear comes me away)
>
> best to youThankyou, sweetie!
Hugs, Sassy
>
> flutterby-mandy
>
>
Posted by rskontos on March 6, 2009, at 15:37:45
In reply to Re: Sexual Misconduct/ What my T has said and Done » fleeting flutterby, posted by sassyfrancesca on March 6, 2009, at 14:45:42
Sassy,
I agree with everyone else. I think it is good to vent and maybe to help you garner the courage to do what your brain tells you versus your heart.
But let me put if one more way,
What would you tell one of us if we were telling you our T's talked to us the way your t has, and/or treated you (the touching thing really bothers me, the pulling up on the chest).
It hurts to see you hurting especially when it is obvious he is not changing.
rsk
Posted by sassyfrancesca on March 6, 2009, at 15:43:48
In reply to Re: Sexual Misconduct/ What my T has said and Done » sassyfrancesca, posted by rskontos on March 6, 2009, at 15:37:45
> Sassy,
>
> I agree with everyone else. I think it is good to vent and maybe to help you garner the courage to do what your brain tells you versus your heart.
>
> But let me put if one more way,
>
> What would you tell one of us if we were telling you our T's talked to us the way your t has, and/or treated you (the touching thing really bothers me, the pulling up on the chest).I know exactly what I would tell all of you.....the problem is....it is more complicated than...just leaving .....isn't so simple (being in love with him for 5 years)....
>
> It hurts to see you hurting especially when it is obvious he is not changing.Thankyou, rsk.....you are a dear!
Love, Sassy
>
> rsk
Posted by SLS on March 7, 2009, at 6:29:26
In reply to Re: Sexual Misconduct/ What my T has said and Done » rskontos, posted by sassyfrancesca on March 6, 2009, at 15:43:48
If my female psychotherapist were to make unambiguous sexual advances toward me, I would terminate my relationship with her immediately. For me, she is eye-candy and has many traits that I would want in a mate. However, it is more important to me to get well than to get laid or romantically involved. Besides, I believe the American Psychological Association (APA) prescribes that a therapist not have sex with a patient until 2 years after termination. What a mess that would make.
I wonder if there is a fundamental difference between the sexes in the way they do or do not become attached emotionally to their therapists.
- Scott
Posted by Dinah on March 7, 2009, at 8:34:50
In reply to Re: Sexual Misconduct/ What my T has said and Done, posted by SLS on March 7, 2009, at 6:29:26
> I wonder if there is a fundamental difference between the sexes in the way they do or do not become attached emotionally to their therapists.
>
>
> - ScottI suppose that there may be certain patterns that are more common to one sex than the other, based on our experiences in life or even our view of what being male or female should be.
But I cherish the ideal that there are more fundamental differences between individuals than between men and women.
I can definitely see elements of my therapeutic relationship as the idealized daddy/daughter dynamics, which I would guess would be outside of the expected emotional attachment style of most men. Yet it's long been a joke not only in my family but in my therapy too that in many ways I fit the masculine stereotypes more than the feminine.
I don't know whether I'd leave my therapist if he behaved improperly. At least not the first time. I'd be more likely to take him to task and tell him that his behavior was not acceptable and enquire into recent brain injuries. But there are behavioral boundaries that define character, and a breach of those would mean that he was not who I thought he was. And not someone I want as my therapist.
Posted by Abby Cunningham on March 7, 2009, at 8:53:12
In reply to Sexual Misconduct/ What my T has said and Done, posted by sassyfrancesca on March 6, 2009, at 12:30:16
In my state, and I think most, this "doctor" would have his medical license revoked permanently, if he is an MD.
Posted by fleeting flutterby on March 7, 2009, at 10:04:55
In reply to Re: Sexual Misconduct/ What my T has said and Done » fleeting flutterby, posted by sassyfrancesca on March 6, 2009, at 14:45:42
> >Oh, Flutterby, you are so sweet!<
----flutterby: thank you Sassy :o)
>> When I went to the American Counseling Convention in Hawaii last year, he was there and told me he was looking for me at the dance!<<---- flutterby: I can imagine he said that-- it keeps you in the throws of your fantasy-- and his desire to be so very wanted.
> That is what my girlfriend sez.<---- flutterby: Do you think maybe you should heed what your girlfriend has to say? She might see things a bit clearer because she's not looking through the fog of emotions like you might be. (those emotions can make 20/20 vision impossible sometimes)
> That is so sad; what has happened to her? He should lose his license!<<----flutterby: Yes it is VERY sad when one who should be trusted with others emotions violates boundaries. To make a long story short and also keep her(my email friend) privacy in mind..... the therapist did lose his license in that state-- but can move to another state and practice, as far as I understand. As for her-- I've unfortunately lost contact with her.... it's my fault.... I didn't know how to handle it all(she emailed me just before she tried to kill herself and I was too confused to know how to help, and then found out she was in ICU.... if she would have died I would have never been able to forgive myself... so, not knowing how else to cope... I gradually distanced myself from her).... but from what i've heard, she is doing OK and trying to heal from yet another mental injury. I do hold her dear in my heart and wish her the best in her life.
>> I called another t; will see about making an appointment.<<------ flutterby: Oh, I am crossing my fingers that you will finally get the help you so deserve.
-------I can understand it will be difficult, but keep in mind that you are worth so much-- and don't have to lower your standards to being used for a selfish person's ego trip. (hope that was OK to say...*shrugs* )
wishing you the best,
flutterby-mandy
Posted by fleeting flutterby on March 7, 2009, at 11:31:40
In reply to Re: Sexual Misconduct/ What my T has said and Done, posted by SLS on March 7, 2009, at 6:29:26
> If my female psychotherapist were to make unambiguous sexual advances toward me, I would terminate my relationship with her immediately. For me, she is eye-candy and has many traits that I would want in a mate.<<
-----flutterby: I think you just said part of it right there-- to you she is "eye candy"--
In our current culture males are allowed and most times encouraged to indulge in the "eye candy" activity... however women are discouraged doing this....(we are expected to engage emotionally instead) how much male porn media is there for women to partake in, compared to female porn that men partake in? Women are raised to "connect" emotionally with a male, for the most part.>>However, it is more important to me to get well than to get laid or romantically involved.<<
------flutterby: It's great that you see it that way and feel it that way. I think however that, generally speaking, women have a trained desire to be accepted by males. It is considered good(maybe even the ultimate best, for some women) in this culture, for a man to sexually desire you. Women are bombarded daily by images of how it seems to be a value that men have-- that we be sexy, the best women are the ones that are sexually desirable, we have to look awesome, etc..etc...(you probably already know all this, just thought I'd rehash it, as it seems to fit with the female/therapist situation as well-- in some circumstances of course)
> I wonder if there is a fundamental difference between the sexes in the way they do or do not become attached emotionally to their therapists.<<
-----flutterby: I do believe that, generally speaking again, that females live more through emotions while males live more through logic. Not that males aren't able to have emotions or that females don't have logic..... just that the general drive for females is emotional and for males it's logic. (this is all generally speaking-- there are always exceptions within each gender of course)I think it's nice that you wonder such things about the genders-- I think it always makes for a better human when one tries to understand another's life. :o)
flutterby-mandy
Posted by SLS on March 7, 2009, at 14:27:47
In reply to Re: Sexual Misconduct/ What my T has said and Done » SLS, posted by fleeting flutterby on March 7, 2009, at 11:31:40
> > If my female psychotherapist were to make unambiguous sexual advances toward me, I would terminate my relationship with her immediately. For me, she is eye-candy and has many traits that I would want in a mate.<<
> -----flutterby: I think you just said part of it right there-- to you she is "eye candy"--I see what I see. My brain reacts as it was wired to and subsequently nurtured to. Like I said, for me, she is eye-candy, but that does not preclude me from seeing much more. I just do not make a habit of denying my male traits. I find it easier to acknowledge them and process the issues that come of them.
> In our current culture males are allowed and most times encouraged to indulge in the "eye candy" activity...
Part of the reason men indulge in such activity is because they are wired to be stimulated by visual cues - probably more so than women. I don't know that women are discouraged from doing this. Well, I would hope not, anyway. I have no problem with it. Do you remember the Chippendales Dancers? What was the attraction there for women? I don't profess to know all of the reasons, but certainly women enjoy eye-candy too.
Males and females are different. Nature has constructed their brains significantly differently. For instance, the differences in the sizes of the corpus callosums - with females having a decidedly larger one - might indicate better communication between the two hemispheres of the female brain.
I understand your "logic" versus "emotional" dichotomy. There is also a bit of a dichotomy in that men are more linear in their thinking while women tend to consider multiple perceptions simultaneously. Women are much better at multitasking than are men. This is just the beginning of quite a list of differences.
"Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus" is a great thesis on the way these difference manifest psychologically and communicatively.
I don't believe that I am sexist. I just see what I see - differences. I don't believe that I am racist either, but I am very capable of seeing black and white, and all the other colors that we humans come in. I hate the "I'm color blind" expression. I am equally resistent to the idea that we should be politically correct and not recognize the differences between the sexes that science has reinforced exist.
I am offended when women are treated like sex objects with no other intrinsic value. I particularly abhor the TV commercials that are shown during football season.
I am a great admirer of women. I wasn't taught to be that way. I just see what I see - differences. I like to celebrate the differences that exist beneath the flesh.
What I don't understand about the differences between the sexes is less important than recognizing that those differences exist.
It is logical.
:-)
- Scott
Posted by fleeting flutterby on March 7, 2009, at 16:51:15
In reply to Re: Sexual Misconduct/ What my T has said and Done » fleeting flutterby, posted by SLS on March 7, 2009, at 14:27:47
> I just do not make a habit of denying my male traits.<<
-----flutterby: I think they are HUMAN traits but with centuries of suppression, women have been conditioned, sadly, to deny them. (IMO) I believe if a female was raised in a similar sexual encouraging environment as a male, they would have similar sexual traits.
> > In our current culture males are allowed and most times encouraged to indulge in the "eye candy" activity...
>> I don't know that women are discouraged from doing this. Well, I would hope not, anyway.<<------flutterby: You've not come across the men I have. I've been told that it's NOT right for a woman to goggle over a man's body. And when asked, most men have told me they would NOT like the idea of women looking at men naked in magazines and getting their "offs" from it.... but that it's completely understandable and acceptable for men to do such.
>> I have no problem with it. Do you remember the Chippendales Dancers? What was the attraction there for women? I don't profess to know all of the reasons, but certainly women enjoy eye-candy too.>>
-----flutterby: You are more open minded than the men I've known. Did you know that most of the Chippendale dancers were gay? Yep, I don't think most straight guys are that open to making themselves so vulnerable. and have you ever wondered why their wasn't a boom of such clubs for women to go to? I venture to guess that it's partly because they can't find men that want to subject themselves to this and also a lot of women feel they are being so horribly bad for partaking in it.(this culture has deep seated roots with puritan christianism that has settled in our culture in ways that most people will never see or realize- IMO. Yikes! I hope I've not violated something here at babble by stating this.... I just don't always understand the rules here)
> Males and females are different.<<----flutterby: YES I so agree-- different can be very good too! However, I also believe that some males can be more feminine than some females and vise-versa.
> I understand your "logic" versus "emotional" dichotomy. There is also a bit of a dichotomy in that men are more linear in their thinking while women tend to consider multiple perceptions simultaneously. Women are much better at multitasking than are men. This is just the beginning of quite a list of differences.<<------flutterby: Yes, I understand that too.
> "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus" is a great thesis on the way these difference manifest psychologically and communicatively.<<-----flutterby: Yes, I've read that book.
>> I am equally resistent to the idea that we should be politically correct and not recognize the differences between the sexes that science has reinforced exist.<<------ flutterby: while I do believe that differences exist, I've learned that there is a spectrum of femaleness and maleness..... and some of us are way over on the female side, and others are somewhat near the middle(meaning just as much male as female) and still others are way over on the male side. I saw a study once where a group was tested and the woman that drove a bulldozer and was in the army was in the middle of the spectrum and a guy that wrote poetry and modeled was also near the middle. where the woman that was a teacher and sold make-up part time tested way over on the female side and the man that raced cars and was a mechanic was way on the male spectrum.
----- I think that may be why people get upset with science trying to put us neatly in a female "box" or male "box". there are just too many varieties to do that and it's upsetting to those that don't feel they fit in the box.
> I am offended when women are treated like sex objects with no other intrinsic value. I particularly abhor the TV commercials that are shown during football season.<<------ flutterby: again, I think you are very open and insightful(if you don't mind me saying so)
> I am a great admirer of women. I wasn't taught to be that way. I just see what I see - differences. I like to celebrate the differences that exist beneath the flesh.<<----- flutterby: OH that sounds lovely. I like to think I'm the same way.(about admiring men) I was told over and over how dumb men are and useless. and my mom would tell me what a loser my dad was. but I never wanted to believe all that competely. I always believed there is a reason for our differences-- I like to think they compliment each other. Like having spaghetti without the sauce, or chocolate chip cookies without the chips-- male and female can go very well together if we just appreciate what each one has to offer.
> What I don't understand about the differences between the sexes is less important than recognizing that those differences exist.<<
-----flutterby: hmmmmm... I beg to differ on this. Understanding leads to acceptance and compassion.... I think that is how the KKK got so strong-- without understanding of differences.... that is partly how prejudism gets a strangle hold, and sexism etc... etc... seems not understanding can lead to wrong interpretations which lead to some being hurt and treated wrongly.-----hey, thanks for the conversing.... it's nice to share with an open mind. :o)
flutterby- mandy ...oops!! oh dear, Sassy have I hijacked your thread? Oh I'm sorry... I hope you're not feeling upset. should I have started a new thread? I don't know.... thank you.
Posted by garnet71 on March 7, 2009, at 17:56:52
In reply to Re: Sexual Misconduct/ What my T has said and Done » fleeting flutterby, posted by SLS on March 7, 2009, at 14:27:47
I hope you don't mind if I butt in..interesting convo.
"Part of the reason men indulge in such activity is because they are wired to be stimulated by visual cues - probably more so than women."
Scott, I think that is total bs...an excuse (not on your part), a myth created by some in society. There are certainly, unequivocally, artists of the female gender more stimulated by visual cues than non-artist men. Also, for me, I compensated for my ADD traits by utilizing my visual assets--I memorized word patterns/the way phrases 'looked'; as a result, I didn't need to read questions on multiple choice/TF tests..I would just 'look' at the question and know the answer by harnessing my visual astuteness...there are many women, I know personally about this..that are more stimulated by ALL the senses...than their male counterparts. Not that the sexual thing is untrue..women want emotional stimulation as well..
Flutterby--in hunting/gathering societies, think Native Americans and others--women had the same status as men; they were just as 'valuable' and there were no sexual taboos there. In some cases, women had more power due to sexuality and child bearing ability. The Native American way was fascinating; it's too bad the U.S. destroyed that amazing culture. Cultures weren't always sexist. Your right though, religions had a lot to do with this change. Religions have been used as a means of power and control.
Posted by garnet71 on March 7, 2009, at 18:05:04
In reply to Sexual Misconduct/ What my T has said and Done, posted by sassyfrancesca on March 6, 2009, at 12:30:16
Saasy--it sounds as though you need to establish firm boundaries with your T. For example, tell him you are uncomfortable with any touching, outright flirting, or sexual innuendous.
Did you establish boundaries after he crossed the line (of unwritten boundaries)? I only ask because I've had problems with boundaries at some times in the past.
I'ts amazing to me all the stories bet. patients and therapists I've read on here. I've always chosen therapists of the same sex, so I can't generally say I know what its like. My very first T, an older man, was the very best at understanding me...unfortunately he died of pancreatic cancer...I'd only had less than a dozen sessions with him....still, I was devasted when I found out he passed. He was remarkable and no T has come close to him since.
Posted by Phillipa on March 7, 2009, at 19:48:58
In reply to Re: Sexual Misconduct/ What my T has said and Done » fleeting flutterby, posted by SLS on March 7, 2009, at 14:27:47
Scott read that book when came out do you have a cave? Men need time to think before regaining corresponse with his female and women want to settle it now isn't that kind of part of what the book talks about? Phillipa
Posted by SLS on March 7, 2009, at 20:11:27
In reply to Re: Sexual Misconduct/ What my T has said and Done » SLS, posted by Phillipa on March 7, 2009, at 19:48:58
The major weakness in my suppositions is that they are not being made from the perspective of a female.
- Scott
Posted by BayLeaf on March 7, 2009, at 21:42:05
In reply to Re: Sexual Misconduct/ What my T has said and Done, posted by SLS on March 7, 2009, at 20:11:27
that totally cracked me up
Posted by rskontos on March 7, 2009, at 22:53:45
In reply to Re: Sexual Misconduct/ What my T has said and Done, posted by SLS on March 7, 2009, at 6:29:26
>>I wonder if there is a fundamental difference between the sexes in the way they do or do not become attached emotionally to their therapist>>
Scott,
I don't particularly feel that there is a difference if you mean do women become more attached emotionally than men. I, myself, am not attached in the emotional sense. I tend to think about my therapist more as just someone right now that listens to me in a way no one ever has. But to be emotionally attached would require more trust etc than we have had time to develop.
But then I do have issues with attachment anyway.
Just my thoughts
rsk
Posted by Sigismund on March 8, 2009, at 0:19:00
In reply to Re: Sexual Misconduct/ What my T has said and Done » SLS, posted by Dinah on March 7, 2009, at 8:34:50
> I wonder if there is a fundamental difference between the sexes in the way they do or do not become attached emotionally to their therapists.
I was 20yo with a 55yo female therapist. Age may be as important as sex.
Sassy, has this been going on for long?
I wouldn't call it therapy as I understand it, and I realise that therapy might be useless and other things you pay for might be even better, but even so.....
Posted by SLS on March 8, 2009, at 7:30:04
In reply to Re: Sexual Misconduct/ What my T has said and Done, posted by SLS on March 7, 2009, at 20:11:27
I am bewildered by the fact that there is almost no one here who will verbally recognize the differences in the way the sexes process information cognitively and emotionally.
Is there a fear in some women that these facts be embraced by men? I sure wish they would be embraced by both sexes and yet find the intrinsic equality between them.
- Scott
Posted by SLS on March 8, 2009, at 8:09:57
In reply to Sexual Misconduct/ What my T has said and Done, posted by sassyfrancesca on March 6, 2009, at 12:30:16
Dear SassyFrancesca,
I apologize for helping to change the direction of your thread.
I just reread your first post again, and I have one question that might be important to you to have answered. First of all, I find the list you made to contain behaviors that are an absolute outrage. The question I have is not meant to point a finger of blame at you or declare you as being somehow weak or even provocative. Even if you were provocative, that comes with the territory of being a psychotherapist, and must be dealt with professionally. I'm sure they have training on how NOT to become personally involved with a client in such a way as yours became with you. Anyway, the question is not an accusation:
What do you think allowed you to return for therapy session after session and be subject to your therapist's misbehaviors?
- Scott
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