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Re: Or maybe, perhaps

Posted by susan47 on August 25, 2009, at 12:19:44

In reply to Or maybe, perhaps, posted by susan47 on August 4, 2009, at 22:59:11

Something else, something about kindness in brown eyes, something about .. something about the way he backed away from me and I held out my hands, palms towards him, to show I meant No Harm, you jerk, you insolent Superior Jerk, the way he was looking at my hands, as though I meant to throttle him with them; but they were so inflamed and sore, eczema majorly, weeping eczema, and I knew this, and I knew I had Offended Him very Deeply, and I just wanted to kick his *ss for being such a f*ck*ng butt-head.
How on earth could he have done this to me?
How and why would a therapist help a patient attain a state of helplessness, infantility, and then completely cut him or her off?
Yet, it happens.
It happened to me.
I was that infantile, helpless baby.
In a grown-up, or somewhat so, body.
And so what, So What if I didn't match your image of yourself?
So What, if I decided somewhere inside myself, that you were Good Enough to Trust?
So what, if you broke my trust?
So What, right? CW?
Hey?
So what.
Isn't that right?
No.
It isn't right.
There is NOTHING Right about what happened.
I take my share of the responsibility,
for being uncensored, for speaking censorable things into the telephone, to the answering service, BTW is it digital, is it live, is it memorex, what is it? Hey? Is it Erased????
From your mind perhaps, but never, never from mine.
Know that.


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