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I Don't Know Who This Is Anymore

Posted by susan47 on March 18, 2009, at 18:05:48

In reply to Re: Dear Ex-T, dear man ..., posted by susan47 on September 3, 2008, at 15:29:34

It hurts so much to go back and read any of this. I don't know this person, the Susan47 that I was, I'm not anymore. I learned something, I don't know what exactly, but I know I learned something Huge. Lots of things. Like, you can't objectify people. And you have to be fair, you have to play fair, you can't play the victim all the time, and you can't play the perpetrator, both roles are hurtful and wrong. You have to be more like the grass in the wind, a whole field full of beautiful long grass, and the sighing as the air blows past, and around ... quiet. You just have to be ... quiet. And love as much as you can without wanting anything in return. And forgiving yourself for your mistakes. And going on, going on.
Because life is ephemeral. Therein lies its beauty, and its tragedy. And emotion, emotion is art, it is life, Life itself, and so few give in, and that is also a tragedy, and I suppose I must believe in the laws of nature, and know that time heals every wound. And if I were religious, I suppose I would pray, but I don't believe I am, and so I will just ... go on.


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