Posted by Susan47 on May 10, 2005, at 20:12:01
In reply to Re: Susan and Alex, my responses..., posted by sunny10 on May 10, 2005, at 9:41:50
Okay, what if the professional dumps you into the void because you ASKED him to, he knew it would hurt you terribly, he knew you were already in deep deep emotional trouble, it's so fricking obvious, you know ... I am so reminded of someone I knew, someone I married in error, someone who had me completely and totally fooled, and still could, you know, if I saw him today, he would be able to completely break down, cry even, show so much personal pain, you couldn't believe how much pain this man could show, and it was real, you know, I believe his pain was absolutely real. But his pain caused him to be unable to love anybody wholly, as a whole person, and he pretty much was the last nail in my emotional coffin. Now the same thing happens to me, again, in another form, and yet I feel responsible, I feel like I created that to happen, but I know I didn't, you know I'm not a bad person I don't hurt people purposely, but I feel like I hurt him, he showed me how much I did that, he was completely selfish in it he was a professional, but I was selfish too, because in my pain I lashed out, I hurt his ears if nothing else. I hurt his ears.
Sigh. Man. My father hurt my ears. I can't believe this.
poster:Susan47
thread:495006
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20050419/msgs/496204.html