Posted by Toph on March 2, 2005, at 22:36:22
In reply to Re: kind alex » Toph, posted by alexandra_k on March 2, 2005, at 20:37:44
Thanks again alex. I want to say that the male side of my family has been handicapped for generations in expressing love. I really can't understand how easy it was to love that little boy and how difficult it is to show him that I love him now. I really sense somehow that my guilt feeling are somehow an obstacle. My wife demonstrates her unrestrained adoration of my step-daughter as much now as ever (though Audra wishes she would back off a little now that she is in college).
As for the friends part, I am ashamed to admit that I don't have many. I was popular in high school and maintain a relationship today with a buddy on the swim team. But the ten years I bounced in and out of the hospital somehow crippled me from having friends. Most of the women at work care about me very much but I don't do anything social with them or their families. Most of my friends are my wife's friends who like me but really are there to be with her. So, in relation to Matthew, I think I am so envious of his ease of making good friends. Its funny (and sad) that I had friends as an adolescent and not now while Matthew hated the high school shallowness and bloomed in college.
alex, I was really sorry to find out for the first time that you were so despondent at one time. Many very beautiful things on this Earth are as fragile as a snowflake while having the potential of being as strong as an avalanche.
Toph
poster:Toph
thread:459162
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20050211/msgs/465778.html