Posted by Toph on March 1, 2005, at 21:59:16
In reply to Chapter 2, posted by Toph on March 1, 2005, at 17:15:10
So I make a big mistake. I say, Matthew I hope you really apply yourself in trying to be a physical therapist because you don't want to end up being a bartender the rest of your life. What I meant was that I love you and I think you could be whatever you want, but he hears, Matthew you are a stupid bartender and I want you to be a physical therapist so you can make a lot of money. We are 100 ft off the ground in a chair lift and I have plunged a mortal wound into my son's heart. We didn't really talk much for two days, a male thing, at least in my family. I make him breakfast every morning which he kind of appreciates I guess, because he scarfs it down. I start getting my wind and my body starts to strengthen so I begin to keep up with him more on the mountain. I swallow my pride and confess that his skiing fast straight down the precipice takes greater skill than my making pretty turns which is is almost like admitting that he is better than me. We go out every night for dinner which is exorbitant. I begin to notice that we aren't laughing much. A weird aside, I'm sitting on a chairlift with a whole world of white capped mountains and gorgeous blue sky all around us, on vacation with no pressures from work, and damn if I don't start thinking about people I've never even met. Yeah, you guys. Is that sick or what?
On the way to the airport, I think about what important things needed to be said before we part for a long time. I explain that I wanted to clear the air about the whole bartending thing. I tell him that I just want him to follow his dreams and to do well at whatever comes his way. I tell him that I was so very impressed at how independent he is, surrounded by good friends, performing well in school, and trusted and appreciated by his employer. I told him that he has apparently a terrific girlfriend who must care for him a lot (they call each other at least twice per day). She lives in Los Angeles and works as a production assistant but wants to be an actress. All the while I'm talking, he doesn't say anything which makes me think he doesn't really care about what I am saying. Then when we arrive at the terminal he turns and says, Dad I'm really glad you came. I know this was expensive, thanks, I had a good time. So I said, I love you, Matthew. And he says, I love you too, Dad. He spreads his arms out to give me a hug (not something done by males in my family) and we embrace which isn't easy to do in his little Corolla. I slept soundly all the way back to Chicago.
It's amazing to me how we screw up the things we care the most about. And its amazing how taking the risk of admitting our failings and weaknesses can mend a world of hurt. I would have held old misconceptions about my son as selfish and immature had I not seen his growth first hand.
It's a sobering experience when your kid teaches you a thing or two about yourself.
Toph
poster:Toph
thread:459162
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20050211/msgs/465223.html