Posted by vwoolf on September 11, 2004, at 5:39:35
In reply to (((((((vwoolf)))))) My heart is with you., posted by Susan47 on September 11, 2004, at 0:10:37
Thanks Susan, I never have told her. In fact I didn't even know myself that I had been abused until about a year ago - I thought I was to blame for everything, because I was seductive and bad. I always thought I had had a happy childhood, but that I was flawed, and that was why I had always felt so guilty and sad.
It has left me completely without boundaries of a sexual nature though. I confuse any kind of friendliness with sexual attraction, so I keep offering myself sexually to anyone I find kind or pleasing in any way, male or female. I then take no pleasure in what happens, because I am reliving the experience with my father. Quite bizarre. I have felt so much shame about this over the years without ever understanding why. I wonder if other incest survivors feel the same.
poster:vwoolf
thread:389258
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20040828/msgs/389558.html