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where you live

Posted by alexandra_k on October 2, 2020, at 15:21:00

I started looking more into the US... Thinking about how you get these flocks of migrants, like locusts, being constantly herded or constantly moving around the globe. Moving from differnet to differnet to different and not making it out of the garbage lives they are trying to leave. Thinking about whether it is any different there. Thinking about whether it will be any different for me.

I guess the issue is that I am locked out of here. The people with the money and the power here do not see me or if they do they do not value me. They refuse to allow me to accomplish any of the things I want for myself. There's nothing for me, here.

So then it depends whether I can find people with money and power someplace else who will allow me to work to accomplish the things I want for myself. They aren't selfish, greedy things, after all. I'm not plotting malevolence or harms for mankind.

I see that the Ivy League schools are these tiny little pockets in bubbles within communities that are more broadly dysfunctional. Often within small towns that we like to call cities a bit removed from the big city where the gang violence and shootings and drug crimes mostly are.

I guess it's a case of how it's easier to have an intervention of someone from far away than it is to have a local intervention, sometimes. Not entirely sure why. Maybe because with local interventions there's a sense or a feeling that the need is greater than anything you can do, really. If you pick out one kid from an impoverished school who is local then there are screaming tantrums that you don't pick out more and more and more of the kids from there. There is jealousy from others. The harms can be more than the goods of a local intervention.

But beaming someone up... Picking out a kid from each state or something like that... Somehow that gets a by. Because it's too much removed of an intervention for people to be all jealous. Because the person being picked out won't be perseccuted / prosecuted overseas, either. I guess because it's about jealousy. Not understanding what they have been offered or something like that.

Some reason why I can't do Medicine here. That would give other people with similar backgrounds to me a sense of entitlement which isn't allowed by our current leaders. But if I go overseas... I'll just be viewed as yet another immigrant taking the jobs from Americans, or whatever.

I was reading about this guy who was Russian in the NY times. He passed. At 90+ years or late 80s or something. Apparently he was a physicist in Russia. He started documenting their human rights abuses. Found himself in a prison camp in Serbia or somewhere and they took back his Russian Citizenship.. Or something... Eventually he makes his way to Cornell. When he's in his 60's. Teaches Physics and Politics for a while... Gets US citizenship. Gets given back Russian. I don't know what to say.

I get the sense that the US doesn't think I'm too old. It's just that NZ doesn't value any of the lives of it's people. It never did value me. It's fully of excuses. The current excuse is I'm too old. There's always a succession of excuses about why I get to have nothing. I'm sick of listening to their lies.

I know why I have to do law.

Unintelligent people are very very taken by this idea that you do what is pre-ordained. Because it lifts the cognitive load. You do what is 'easy' or 'natural' (or you follow the money). YOu be a sheeple... Brown gets to be a baker etc. What's in a name?

Roe is renowned for Roe v Wade. My last name is Roe. Therefore I must be a lawyer. Obviously. Insofar as I am allowed to do anything at all in this sh*t hole of a money laundering nation I'm to be working as a lawyer for free.

Know what the University of Auckland lawyers did? They sent me a letter saying I should reply before the close of business the next day (by what authority?) that they needed me to pay them a retainer of $20,000 because they were worried that I would lose the case and I didn't have any money to pay court costs.

I couldn't make this sh*t up.

I pointed out that if the claims are without merit (as they have been saying -- because they are going to tell the judge they lack basic reading comprehension of the Statutes it's their job to follow)... Then they should simply not file anything at all and let the case be decided in their absense. If they think my claims need a defence (but no defence is possible, really) then they have in-house council who is paid a salary for when studnets or staff rightly see that the University is probably one of the most corrupt institutions in NZ. If she chooses to contract out then the retainer can come from her salary.

They actually seem to be suggesting that in cases where the client can't afford to pay the court costs associated with losing... THen the client should not be allowed to file the case.

This is in a context where the other Government Institutions and agengies whose job it is to uplold the laws and proseccute offenders are too underfunded to do their jobs (and often, seems to me, hire people incompetent to do teh job for which they are paid) also.

Are things better in Rhode Island?

I was watching the news... Teh shootings. The opiate overdoses. Stabbing. Angry teenage mob... Getting a sense of things... The housing in the poorer areas... Trying to get a sense of things... I appreciate being able to get a sense of things. What I'm finding isn't over-manicured.

I see that if I was raised into a poor house in Rhode Island there wouldn't be very much hope for me, likely.

I'd be applying to colleges out of state for sure.

The issue is that if you sort of think of every state as a country then you have around 50 x the opportunities that you do in this part of the world.

That's basically the idea of it.

If the odds on being accepted into a programme are around 20 per cent... And you apply to 10 programmes... It's supposed to be the gambler's fallacy that yoru overall odds are higher when you add together odds like that...

But they aren't independent. Not really...

I don't know.

I appreciate my life could be worse... But I regret so much of my life being wasted in NZ already and I still see little to no signs of anything of value, here.

People genuinely and truly believe 'might is right' in this part. People are tribal. They think the aim is to huddle in with the most powerful herd you can and insideously manipulate things in the direction you want. You need to avoid overt confict because the group en masse is more powerful than you. You need to convince the herd to follow you of their own volution because it's the easiest thing to do.

It's easier to stay home in the team of 5 million than to work a commuter job when the trains can only go at 1/2 speed because we did not upkeep the tracks...


The main issue I have is that it does make sense that private business be allowed to manage it's own affairs. I mean... If private business is smart enough to see things worth investing in and invest in them and get a good outcome then for the love of God let them get on with it.

Mostly here we have an awful squabble when people simply can't tell or don't know it when they see it. That's the thing... You don't necessariliy need to be a person who comes up with a good idea or a good product or whatever... But you need to be able to identify one when you see one and be able to mobilise the funds that are needed so the person with the vision can realise that. And that's what we don't have here. People with power and ability to do that.

So... It makes sense that private Universities should be able to pick and choose what studnets they want. Surprise, the ones in that position require extensive essays they plan to actually read and qualitatively *ss*s people on their merits. Whether they do or not -- that's an idea (an ideal) worth believing in -- right?? As opposed to our ideal where the kids who have parents who are doctors get to do it and other arbitrary and nonsense things like that.

Of course they say 'it's not arbitrary nonsense. Fact is we have nothing to teach you because we choose to employ people who don' tknow anythig and can't teach anything'. Yes. Adding incompetence to incompetence.... I mean to say that there's a reason why public universities that rely on public handouts (because they lack the ability to privately fund) don't get to make decisions. That's why they are bonded by statute to do this, that, and the other thing. Any time they can get enough (clean money, not laundered) student fees from international sources or from local sources to go public... THey are welcome...

I worry a bit about where the money comes from. Corruption...

But I see a field of solar panels for the water company. And I think: Would NZ do anything like that if it had the money? ANd I think not. There would be endless squabbly meetings and the money would vanish up on salaries for people who ern too much already.


I do see inklings that things are moving (at a snails pace) in better directions, here. Teh Minister of Health said the government would give the Canturbury DHB more than 100 million to shore up their budget deficit for the explicit purpose of paying their workers.

Enough rope to hang themselves with?

We will see. Either they will come through this being entrusted with more power and more money... Or they will be one of the health boards who will vanish after the election as they get rid of a fair few of them.

I am almost certain that the courts won't throw out my cases on the grounds that I am too poor for justice to be accessible to me. Not fully certain. Almost certain. It is known that people don' tdo legeal aid work not because the case has no merits but because the courts do not pay people enough for them to undertake that kind of work.

There are people who undertake that kind of work... But they are swamped. I don' tsee how they can do a properly competent job of things when they are that swamped. They can't.


Our leaders genuinely don't believe the laws apply to them. ANd neither do their lawyers. It's a problem.




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