Posted by alexandra_k on April 2, 2014, at 15:28:32
In reply to Re: increasing sensitivity, posted by alexandra_k on March 29, 2014, at 22:54:34
really enjoying chemistry... it is nice and systematic, which pleases me aesthetically. figuring out the functional groups and naming molecules is also nice and systematic. logic puzzl-y. he lecturer (who is also the convenor for org next year) is smart and entertaining and i can follow along her lines of reasoning reasonably well... i'm on a bit of a mission to try and get her powerpoints out of her *before* class... which is a bit tricky, actually. i've made my case properly, anyhow, and so... we will see what she decides. the issue is really that if she puts them up a bit earlier (so everyone can utilise them) most others probably won't... and so... it might be making a bit more work for her (depending on how soon she typically gets them done).
anyway...
need to figure how to similarly approach other lecturers about this before next year... i don't think i'll have the opportunity to get to know them this year... so that will be trickier. i can't simply ask. because if i do they simply say no. then they are psychologically committed to no... so... i need to try and construct my query such that they see that i am smart and i do work hard and this will be helpful to me (instead of their just writing me off)... anyway... people skills... ugh... i wonder if i can ask her advice on this?? good idea...
maybe i can make meth if everything else turns to sh*t. ahahaha. not likely given my labs. sigh.
there is this new class at the gym... strength and conditioning. they are marketing it as teaching people how to do olympic weightlifting. as a 'you don't have to train by yousrself' kind of a thing. in theory i'm all for more girls / people doing it. in practice... i'm very much opposed to other people taking up space / using my bar / wanting to chit chat to me when i'm trying to focus. i don't know how they are going to be taught... watching personal trainers get right up in behind people trying to squat or lifting stuff over their head doesn't get me feeling particularly enthusiastic (just what you need to be teaching people - to get in the bloody way while people are trying to lift). particularly... don't teach girls to use the squat racks properly (set up the safeties) instead get in close behind them with the intention of - what? grabbing at them if they start to fall / fail? making them feel like they can't squat with you up their *ss? ffs. gyms. ugh.
and of course the issue is more that people... simply don't think about things. guys tend to like squatting like that because... their squat gets progressively higher / they squat more weight that way. but this isn't powerlifting... we don't need a crowd of people around to mask squat depth and we don't need a crowd of people around to instantaneouly react should compression equipment tear and the person simply crumple... the bar can stay an arms length away from me so i know i'm safe... my biggest worry in the gym is trying not to f*ck*ng well hit you with it... which only makes it more likely i try and hold it close to me - and then things go badly if i don't psychologically feel i have the space to keep away from it...
anyway... if the gym starts to get crowded... i'll just have to go do something else. till people want to do that too... at which point i have to move again. why the f*ck, people?????
i'm okay. i'm mostly okay... but odd comments and bits and pieces, yeah... things nearly turned... and then they didn't. i think someone talked to someone... and persuaded them to leave me alone... i guess people are hypergregarious while they are trying to find their mates. or whatever it is that people do. people have funny ideas about meeting as many people as possible and imposing some ranking system they believe to be objective and pairing up with the 'highest ranking' individual they can...
the class i'm in... isn't quite university yet. that is part of the problem, i think. intellectual peers... not quite. will take years to find that again. possibly. whatever... my little friend is back. she was sick for a bit. she is pretty good, actually. capable of being quiet when the lecturer is speaking. also capable of listening / remembering. pleasant...
test on monday...
there... really aren't many people in the world like me. i forget that. amongst the choirs of 'oh yes i am just like you'... people really are full of it. i need to explore campus more. i've been sucked into the 'tourist traps'. apparently there are quieter spaces hidden away... for those who seek... i haven't been seeking because my home... but i need to try and find people like me. and get away from those too busy telling me they are... sigh.
not looking forward to a bunch of people wanting to do oly lifting because they want to be stared at... standing about yapping in their groups. a bunch of people who think they know everything about it... getting in the way... sigh.
probably i'm not being fair. someone forked out for really wonderful equipment so somebody knows... for reals... i just... like my own personal space. in case you never guessed.. and it is hard enough to get the bar from the row-boys already...
poster:alexandra_k
thread:1058481
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20140312/msgs/1063575.html