Posted by Racer on November 15, 2008, at 0:46:19
In reply to I got triggered, posted by Deneb on November 14, 2008, at 20:45:28
Deneb, from everything you've written here over the years, it sounds as though your mother and your sister are at best insensitive with you. Frankly, they sound rather cruel to you, although some of that is likely projection on my part.
It's good, however painful, to get those memories that show you that you've just regressed to another developmental stage. If you know where it's coming from, it's not nearly as frightening, which makes it far more manageable. And, what's that little thing people say? Baby steps? Oh, yeah...
So, you've survived the first of those steps. And you'll take another. And then another. And you'll fall down now and again, but then you'll pull yourself back onto your feet -- you'll probably hold on to something while you practice -- and one day, you'll suddenly find that you're walking. Just like when you learned to walk the first time. (Or if you were a lucky one like me, the second time you learned to walk...) (Wait, maybe that doesn't make me lucky, huh?)
I'm very impressed, though, Deneb -- do you realize what you've accomplished? And what odds were against you? My goodness, with a family situation so lacking in support, to have gotten where you are? And look what you do now when you're upset -- you come to Social and you say, "I'm upset," or "I've been triggered." That's far more balanced than what you did a few years back, remember? And you see how people have responded to you, too.
This is all hard stuff, kiddo. I'm fighting a lot of it myself, and I'm a lot older than you are. (Frighteningly, your mother might be in my general age range -- is that a truly terrifying thought or what?) I know first hand how hard it is when you think you need someone to hold your hand, and the only people around you are saying, "No, you're A Big Girl now, and you don't need your hand held." (That's a fight my psychoterrorist and I have regularly.) Turns out, though, that I don't need to hold on, I really can walk a bit better emotionally. And there's a feeling of such strength and power that comes with it! I am Racer, hear my engine roar!
You done good, little star.
poster:Racer
thread:863105
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20081031/msgs/863141.html