Posted by beachbum on October 20, 2007, at 8:59:19
In reply to Re: Why not end it?, posted by Maxime on October 20, 2007, at 0:38:10
well I'm glad you posted :]
I understand... I spent many yrs being angry at God and depending on how I'm doing still do sometimes. Haven't read or prayed for around 6 weeks when I thought I had 'grown' enough in my faith not to do that when feeling bad. The last few weeks I'm wandering if He's even there as much as I hate to admit it. Hate this time of year too. :]
Like you I've also prayed to just not wake up... I can't do suicide and don't see things getting any better. Have a few good months most days in summer but that's about it. When I'm loosing hope like this week again thoughts of 'it' still cross my mind. It's so hard some days to keep going esp. when on the outside people don't see anything wrong. I've become 'so good' at 'behaving' as though I'm fine when out or working, but as you know it's exhausting.
thanks for listening, feeling big need today for some friends here. [[hug]] Not doing to well at 'being good' today
Lora
poster:beachbum
thread:790238
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20070925/msgs/790297.html