Posted by Racer on April 4, 2006, at 22:31:28
In reply to Dr. Bob, please don't say no, posted by Deneb on April 4, 2006, at 21:52:28
Another issue which may come into play for Dr Bob has to do with some professional rules, and some tax rules. Dr Bob, as we know, is a mental health professional, and he writes articles and papers on the subject of Babble. That makes it part of his PROFESSIONAL life, and he can't be paid by the subjects of his research. And The Scarf is payment, according to the tax laws.
But more important, Deneb, is that pesky boundary issue. I realize you "love" Dr Bob -- but part of loving someone is respecting that person, and that person's boundaries. Do you think you're doing that right now?
And a word about hugs: Not everyone is OK about hugs, not everyone is OK about being touched. I'm not OK about being hugged -- you'll notice I never do the cyber hug thing, even -- and if someone ignored that boundary, I'd be very angry, I'd feel very much disrespected and disregarded. It would *not* feel "loving" to me, for someone to ignore my boundaries and hug me anyway. It's perfectly possible that Dr Bob is also not comfortable with being hugged. Please respect his boundaries, on the hug and on the scarf.
Deneb, can you try to love the scarf you're knitting because *you* are making it? Because it's something that feels good to *you,* without it having to be for someone else? Can you transfer some of that "love" from Dr Bob to yourself?
poster:Racer
thread:626334
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060331/msgs/628991.html