Posted by KaraS on March 7, 2005, at 20:50:18
In reply to Re: Kara, my turn. How you are doing? » KaraS, posted by TamaraJ on March 7, 2005, at 14:21:46
Hi,
> -- Ya, I am a "snoozer". I never used to be. I was always one of those people who didn't need an alarm clock - just woke up at the same time everyday and jumped out of bed. But, in the past couple of years, my alarm clock has become both my best friend and my arch enemy! Oh well. I am sure you won't be hitting the snooze button as often when you have to be some place. But, you're right, time will tell. I will be in that boat soon too. So, I'll have to see just how well I do in that regard. Yipes!
Unfortunately I've been a "snoozer" since I was a teenager. I so wish I weren't. Taj Mahal has a song "Take a Giant Step" and in it there's a line that goes someting like this:
"Remember the feeling as a child
when you woke up and morning smiled?"I cry everytime I hear or think of that line. It would be so nice to have that feeling again - to jump out of bed with excitement of what the day might bring. Instead, I dread the day and so hit that snooze button a million times so I don't have to face it. In my more optimistic moments, like now, I feel that it's still possible to feel that excitement again so I'll try to hold onto that.
> -- I have been really lucky that I have very rarely had to or wanted to return something. If I am unsure about something, then I will cave in and take the time to try it on. I worked with a lady who used to shop, try things on, buy and then a few days later, after re-trying things on at home, decide she didn't like what she had bought and return it. We all used to tease her about it, but she didn't seem in the least bit concerned. I would be so embarrassed if I was constantly returning things, especially if I had tried them on first. I can imagine that some stores would want to curtail compulsive returners. Can you imagine if someone was buying clothes, wearing them for a special event, and then returning them. Yuk! But, I am sure that some people do that.Yeah, you can't blame the stores from trying to protect themselves from the chronic returners. I think you're right that some of them actually wear the clothes and then return them. Yuk is right! Once I am able to function again and get a job, it will be such a thrill to get some new clothes.
> > I think that doing some CBT or trying to redirect thoughts to something else are good solutions (if one can manage it) when one starts to negatively worry and obsess. Who knows, maybe even the tapping will, in time, help with this kind of thing. And maybe medication could help eventually.I did some tapping last night and didn't feel much of a result. Then I did the 5 step breathing exercise with tapping that's supposed to get your polarity straigtened out. Anyway, after that exercise I did feel more relaxed but that could just have been because of the breathing part of the exercise. I woke up this morning and felt quite anxious so I didn't think it worked. Later today I realized I felt much more optimistic and stronger than yesterday. I didn't feel like I would cry if someone looked at me wrong. I don't know if this has anything to do with the tapping. I'll try to do more exercises tonight though.
> -- What I find so weird about CBT is that I think most of us know that we need to redirect our thoughts are change our thinking - that is just common sense. But, changing our thinking isn't always effective in quelling anxiety, especially when the anxiety is the "free floating" kind where there doesn't seem to be any particular thought(s) or action(s) that seem to be causing it. I don't know, maybe I am just being cynical. The tapping may work. The way I was taught was, again, you have to focus on what is causing the angst and tap it away. I am really looking forward to starting yoga or something like that. It is supposed to be very calming, centering and energizing.I have the Burns handbook at home on CBT. He claims that anxiety (including GAD and panic disorder) is one of the things that CBT is particularly useful for. I can't help but be skeptical about that as well. My anxiety is so all-encompassing and so seemingly removed from my thinking. I find it hard to believe that CBT could even make a dent in the kind of anxiety I've been experiencing. Also, doctors and researchers are coming to believe that in many cases the agitation may be a form of bipolar disease. In that case, I especially can't see CBT being helpful.
A friend of mine does yoga nearly every day for two hours in the morning. He swears by it (though he still has needed medication).
> -- So far, I think it is treating me well. I have been experiencing a little bit more agitation/anxiety, but I am hoping that that will subside as my body adjusts to the med. I don't want to jinx myself, but I think I may be experiencing a lessening of the dark, ruminating thoughts I have been having. The anxiety is still there, but there are other reasons for that. When I see the pdoc next week, I may discuss Klonopin with him. Have you ever tried it? I have heard it can be particularly good for avoidant personality caused by constant anxiety and the "what if" thoughts. That will be the last hump I will have to get over if the nort works. You're right, we can't beat ourselves up for making the decision to discontinue a med. I am sorry that the Effexor did not agree with you the second time around. But, I sure am glad that the Doxepin is at least helping keep the anxiety under control for you. That gives you a little bit of breathing room to do some more research and identify a med for the depression. Have you ever tried Tofranil PM? I have heard some good things about it for depression and anxiety.It sounds like there's reason to be optimistic about the nort. It's too early to get too excited about it and I don't want to jinx it either but it does sound good. A little bit more agitation isn't bad if you can handle it esp. when you know that it won't last. Did you try taking the additional 25 mg. yet?
I haven't tried Klonopin yet. I'm considering it though. I am a bit afraid of benzos but it may be helpful in getting me on some other AD that I'm not able to tolerate now. I also have an avoidant personality so it may be useful in that respect as well. My doctor prescribed Xanax for me but I've only taken it once. I really don't like the thought of having to take it 4X a day either and I hear it's particularly difficult to get off of it. Who knows - the nort. may end up relaxing you a lot and you might find that you don't need anything else.
I haven't tried Tofranil PM either. I'm not sure what the "PM" stands for. Tofranil is imipramine if I'm not mistaken. It's profile suggests that it would probably give me tachycardia.
> -- Oh, they are characters alright! Material for a sitcom now, but when they were together, it would have probably been better material for a horror show! Now, there were two people who never should have gotten together or stayed together as long as they did. I think in some cases, opposites attract and can have a very healthy and loving relationship. But, in some cases, it is a disaster. Oh well, the times were different when my parents married. If they had decided to pursue a relationship in this day and age, they probably would have lived together and realized that they were all wrong for each other. Go figure.
I think a lot of couples who come together when they're younger and not experienced enough make some very bad choices - esp. in our parents' generation - when they didn't have the option of trying it out first. On the otherhand, trying it out can lead to lack of commitment.> -- I had heard some horror stories about people having to deal with the insurance companies and having treatments, etc. denied or having to jump through hoops and provide justifications, etc. for off-label uses. I seem to recall having heard a story of a man who lived in Texas (I think I am remembering correctly), and he had a daughter who had serious medical problems. He almost went broke in the States trying to get her treatment, and finally left the States for Canada so she could get the care she needed. The partisan sniping and egos need to be shelved long enough to put some serious thought into the issue.
Michael Moore (yes, that Michael Moore) used to have a tv show. In one segment he took on an insurance company that refused to pay for an organ transplant that would have saved a young man's life. (The young man had a wife and young child as well.) The insurance company called the procedure "experimental" (their favorite word). Anyway, without the surgery, the guy was definitely going to die. Moore went to the insurance company along with the young man (cameras following them as well). They met with a company PR person and they asked the PR guy for help in picking out coffins. They also gave the PR guy an invitation to the funeral. It was such a powerful segment. Needless to say the insurance company caved and, in fact, changed their policy on that kind of transplant. Later in the show, the man (who had since had the surgery and was now fine) stood up and the audience went wild with cheering. It was great drama and so satisfying! Unfortunately there are thousands of people in this young man's shoes who never have a TV show to save them.
> -- It's a big decision, and I don't blame you for having mixed emotions about it. Yes, there are a number of pros, but, as you have said, there are some cons. Hopefully, once you make the move and get settled, the pros will outweigh the cons. I hope everything works out. I am really keeping my fingers crossed for you that this will, in the end, be a good, positive move for you.
Thanks. I don't think I have much to lose at this point.
> -- I seemed to have a relatively positive response to L-Tyrosine. But then I added L-Glutamine into the mix early on and ended up after about two weeks on both L-Tyrosine and L-glutamine in a severely agitated state. It was incredibly unpleasant. Because I was using both together, I didn't know if it was the L-Tyrosine or the L-Glutamine or a combination of the two. But, it freaked me out so much that I stopped both and have been a little wary ever since about trying again. Maybe once I get my current state of anxiety and depression under control, I will experiment again. I was using 150mg of DMAE and that seemed to help somewhat in combination with NADH. But, I think that the anxiety I had been experiencing was derailing to some extent the effectiveness of the combo (because the anxiety would be so bad some days that I would feel exhausted from it). You may respond to a higher dose of DMAE. I had read in a couple of places that ACL provided some relief at doses of 1,000 - 2,000mg. I tried PS, but, even at doses of 200 - 300mg a day, I did not experience any noticable improvement or relief. I guess natural supplements are just like meds in one regard - you have to experiment to find the right supps or combo of supps for your own particular chemistry.I probably wouldn't have the nerve to try the l-tyrosine again either. Unfortunately, the things that tend to increase energy and motivation, also tend to cause an increase in anxiety. If you're already feeling anxious, why risk it? I think I tried 1,000 mg. of DMAE and ALC along with 100 mg. of PS but I may be mistaken. I may have increased the ALC though. I could try the higher dosage of DMAE but I was worried about it making me too tense. If I ever get the anxiety under control and I'm on either doxepin or clomipramine, then I'd be willing to try DMAE again. I'm thinking it might help to counter the anticholinergic effects of the meds. But either way, you have to do the experiment (as Larry always says) and unfortunately the experiment might be just as unpleasant as starting out on a new drug.
> -- That's great news! Sunny and several more days of sun. What a relief. I'll keep dancing. You're right too - it may help with the anxiety and depression. My sister-in-law wants me to take dance lessons with her. We have a friend who is a dance instructor, and he's really good. So, when I am feeling better, we may sign up for one of this classes. That would be fun!
What kind of dance lessons would you be taking? That sounds like fun. It was another sunny day today and I went out for a walk. It felt good.
> -- Hope you managed to get out for a walk and enjoyed it. It's so nice to walk in the sunshine. It's snowing here tody. We are expecting about 25cm or more. Ugh! Oh well, spring isn't far off (thank goodness!).
Yes, thank goodness for spring! It's probably cold where you are right up until summertime, isn't it?
Take care and talk to you soon!Kara
P.S. Did you make your other doctor's appointment yet?
poster:KaraS
thread:456548
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050305/msgs/467998.html