Posted by TamaraJ on March 8, 2005, at 9:39:53
In reply to Re: Kara, my turn. How you are doing? » TamaraJ, posted by KaraS on March 7, 2005, at 20:50:18
> Hi,
>
> Unfortunately I've been a "snoozer" since I was a teenager. I so wish I weren't. Taj Mahal has a song "Take a Giant Step" and in it there's a line that goes someting like this:
>
> "Remember the feeling as a child
> when you woke up and morning smiled?"
>
> I cry everytime I hear or think of that line. It would be so nice to have that feeling again - to jump out of bed with excitement of what the day might bring. Instead, I dread the day and so hit that snooze button a million times so I don't have to face it. In my more optimistic moments, like now, I feel that it's still possible to feel that excitement again so I'll try to hold onto that.
>
-- I know what you mean. I remember that feeling, and I agree with you that it is possible to feel that excitement, that joie de vivre, again. It's a wonderful thing to hold on to! For a while, I was even having problems with bedtime (weird I know). But, I would just be filled with dread about the thought of going to sleep because I was afraid I would wake up feeling as bad as I did before I fell asleep. It was like if I didn't sleep, I wouldn't have to experience the dread and emptiness anew.
>
> Yeah, you can't blame the stores from trying to protect themselves from the chronic returners. I think you're right that some of them actually wear the clothes and then return them. Yuk is right! Once I am able to function again and get a job, it will be such a thrill to get some new clothes.
>
-- I used to be a real shopaholic. And, when I couldn't find things I liked for myself, I would buy for others - just for the fun of shopping! When my brother was living with me, he didn't have a lot of disposable income (debts, saving for a house, sending money to his girlfriend [now his wife] in Colombia), so I would pick up things for him that he needed and even that he didn't need, but I thought he would like. Now that he is married and has his own place, he keeps dropping hints - I'm running of socks, t-shirts, my jeans are looking pretty bad. Even his wife is joking about it now. When I am able, I love to spoil people - especially my little brother.
>
> I did some tapping last night and didn't feel much of a result. Then I did the 5 step breathing exercise with tapping that's supposed to get your polarity straigtened out. Anyway, after that exercise I did feel more relaxed but that could just have been because of the breathing part of the exercise. I woke up this morning and felt quite anxious so I didn't think it worked. Later today I realized I felt much more optimistic and stronger than yesterday. I didn't feel like I would cry if someone looked at me wrong. I don't know if this has anything to do with the tapping. I'll try to do more exercises tonight though.
>
--That's good! If you keep doing it on a regular basis for a little while, you will have a better indication if it is helping. And, if the breathing exercises were of some benefit, then go for it. Maybe you can rent a beginners yoga video and start practicing that. I bought a cheap - Yoga for Dummies - video. I am going to start doing that for a while and then I will probably start going to a Yoga centre in my area a couple of times a week.
>
> I have the Burns handbook at home on CBT. He claims that anxiety (including GAD and panic disorder) is one of the things that CBT is particularly useful for. I can't help but be skeptical about that as well. My anxiety is so all-encompassing and so seemingly removed from my thinking. I find it hard to believe that CBT could even make a dent in the kind of anxiety I've been experiencing. Also, doctors and researchers are coming to believe that in many cases the agitation may be a form of bipolar disease. In that case, I especially can't see CBT being helpful.
>
-- I have the David Burns book as well. I started reading it, and all I kept thinking was Duh! I think CBT can be effective for OCD and constant worry that generates anxiety, but I, too, have my doubts about how effective it would be for that free-floating anxiety that one can not put a finger on where it is coming from. If anything, though, I guess it could teach a person to better manage their reaction to that type of anxiety so that it doesn't spin out of control.
> A friend of mine does yoga nearly every day for two hours in the morning. He swears by it (though he still has needed medication).
>
-- Two hours - WOW - that is commitment! I don't think in some cases things like yoga, meditation, deep breathing will ever be able to replace medication, but I think practicing those things can help a person better manage their illness and maybe even have to rely on less medication. Who knows.
>
> It sounds like there's reason to be optimistic about the nort. It's too early to get too excited about it and I don't want to jinx it either but it does sound good. A little bit more agitation isn't bad if you can handle it esp. when you know that it won't last. Did you try taking the additional 25 mg. yet?
>
-- I forgot to take the additional 25mg last night, so I will up the dose tonight. Hopefully I will be able to tolerate the increased dose. But, so far, no dizziness, no nausea.
>
> I haven't tried Klonopin yet. I'm considering it though. I am a bit afraid of benzos but it may be helpful in getting me on some other AD that I'm not able to tolerate now. I also have an avoidant personality so it may be useful in that respect as well. My doctor prescribed Xanax for me but I've only taken it once. I really don't like the thought of having to take it 4X a day either and I hear it's particularly difficult to get off of it. Who knows - the nort. may end up relaxing you a lot and you might find that you don't need anything else.
>
-- I ask about Klonopin because it has a longer half life than Xanax which means less frequent dosing. I worry about it though because some people find it can, after longer term use, exacerbate depression. I have also heard that it can act almost like a mood stabilizer and may be quite effective for avoidant personality. I am only thinking of possibly adding it for short-term use - a few weeks - just to get rid of the annoying "what if" thoughts, as I get going again. I think I will raise it with the pdoc when I see him.> I haven't tried Tofranil PM either. I'm not sure what the "PM" stands for. Tofranil is imipramine if I'm not mistaken. It's profile suggests that it would probably give me tachycardia.
>
-- I think the PM means that it is once a day evening dosing. Ya, Tofranil is imipramine. I wonder if it would cause the tachycardia. I think it may be a more balanced (serotonin/norephedrine) med than nort or desp (which, as I understand it, are predominantly norephedrine). I can understand your reluctance to try it though given your experience with other nort.
>
> I think a lot of couples who come together when they're younger and not experienced enough make some very bad choices - esp. in our parents' generation - when they didn't have the option of trying it out first. On the otherhand, trying it out can lead to lack of commitment.
>
-- I think you are right about the lack of commitment. More and more people just throw in the towel on a marriage or a long-term, living together relationship when the going gets rough instead of trying to work through the problems. I have seen it with some of my friends. It's sad. Then I look at my boss and some of my colleagues or older friends who have been married for 25, 30 years and see the commitment through the good and the bad and I don't feel so sad about it anymore.
>
> Michael Moore (yes, that Michael Moore) used to have a tv show. In one segment he took on an insurance company that refused to pay for an organ transplant that would have saved a young man's life. (The young man had a wife and young child as well.) The insurance company called the procedure "experimental" (their favorite word). Anyway, without the surgery, the guy was definitely going to die. Moore went to the insurance company along with the young man (cameras following them as well). They met with a company PR person and they asked the PR guy for help in picking out coffins. They also gave the PR guy an invitation to the funeral. It was such a powerful segment. Needless to say the insurance company caved and, in fact, changed their policy on that kind of transplant. Later in the show, the man (who had since had the surgery and was now fine) stood up and the audience went wild with cheering. It was great drama and so satisfying! Unfortunately there are thousands of people in this young man's shoes who never have a TV show to save them.
>
-- That's the problem I guess - out of sight, out of mind. Unless a person has someone in their corner making a lot of noise, it is probably unlikely that they will be able to get what they need. A sad commentary - a person's good health being, to some degree, nothing more than about profit margins and big business. Maybe the day will come when the general public will band together against insurance companies. And, it isn't even just when it comes to health insurance. Insurance companies are just nickle and diming policy holders, sometimes until they are almost broke and can't afford insurance. I guess it's all about regulation, but I don't think governments have the political fortitude to attempt to impose some kind of more stringent regulatory framework.
>
> > What kind of dance lessons would you be taking? That sounds like fun. It was another sunny day today and I went out for a walk. It felt good.
>
-- I don't know what kind of dance lessons yet. I guess we'll talk to our friend and see what he suggests and go from there. I think it will be fun. Dancing is always fun. I am glad you were able to get out for another walk. It makes a difference when we are able to get out and get fresh air. You're right - it feels good :-) I have been able to get out for walks again (although it has been cold - today it is minus 22 with the wind) and it has been nice. Hopefully the weather will continue to be good in your neck of the woods so that you can keep walking.
>
> Yes, thank goodness for spring! It's probably cold where you are right up until summertime, isn't it?
>
-- It starts to warm up around May (but even then you might need a light jacket). But, it's so nice when the weather starts to change and the days start to get warmer. You can almost feel the energy all around you as people start to come out of the long winter funk.> Take care and talk to you soon!
>
Tamara
>
> P.S. Did you make your other doctor's appointment yet?
>
-- I will likely be going back to see him next week. So, I'll see what happens. >
poster:TamaraJ
thread:456548
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050305/msgs/468201.html