Posted by TamaraJ on March 8, 2005, at 22:17:26
In reply to Re: Kara, my turn. How you are doing? » TamaraJ, posted by KaraS on March 8, 2005, at 19:39:13
> Hi,
>
> Oh, I know exactly what you're saying. That's a big part of the reason I don't want to go to sleep at night. Add the morning panic to the brew and you've got the rest of the picture. There's that split second when you wake up and realize the situation you're in and the panic starts. Last night I slept too long and today I feel really tired and more depressed. It's definitely counterproductive to sleep too much. Even knowing that, I can't seem to get myself going earlier.
>
-- I have found that too - when I sleep too much, I feel groggy, foggy and down. And yet, sometimes extra sleep is just what the body and mind need. My mom is a firm believer in sleeping to heal. When she is stressed, she sleeps. When she is depressed, she sleeps. When she is sick, she sleeps. Growing up it was quite stressful in our house because of my dad's volatility and raging temper, so my mom slept a lot. But, it was her way of coping. When the storm died down, she was usually somewhat productive again. I think sometimes we just have to set some early morning goals for ourselves to get into a routine, but realize that it can be easier said than done. I am glad that I have a dog because she gets me out in the morning. One thing I have tried to do as I have struggled with this bout of depression and anxiety is to make sure I got up every morning and took her out for a walk, even if it was only for 20 or 30 minutes, and then again in the evening. Some days it was a struggle, but a good one I think. Maybe you could find a walking buddy and arrange an early morning walk for one or two mornings a week to start with.
>
> Your brother is very lucky to have a sister like you. I'm sure you enjoyed spoiling him though.
>
-- He probably has other views on that ;-) I just like doing things for others. I have been like that since I was a kid. I prefer to do for others than for myself. Now don't laugh. When I first starting earning my own money (babysitting when I was about 11), I would go christmas shopping in about October. I was always so excited to pick out gifts for people. Anyway, I would get so excited with my piddly little purchases (back then, a babysitter was making about 50 cents to a dollar an hour :-)), that I would wrap everything up, and give everyone in the family their presents in October. Then I would go through the same thing again in November. And, finally, the December purchases went under the tree. I have been a weird and warped individual for quite some time. Ah, the innocence of childhood.
>
> I did some tapping last night around the thought of getting up in the morning. I was trying to program myself to wake up with energy and enthusiasm at the first alarm ring. It didn't work at all. I'm not quite ready to give up on it yet but I am finding it hard to believe that it can do some of the things that the authors claim. I will probably move on to meditation and/or yoga if/when this doesn't work out.
>
-- No, I wouldn't give up yet. The practitioner I saw said that it can take a few sessions to tap away some of the really troubling and persistent problems. And even then a person might need to do some follow-up or re-focussing tapping. The nice thing about meditation and yoga is that they have been around for a long, long time and can really be seen as tried and true forms for relaxation for many people. It takes practice, but I think once a person manages to perfect their technique, it can be quite beneficial and soothing. And, yoga is a form of exercise, so if nothing else, a person can tone up and improve their posture :-)
>
> Actually, two hours a day sounds more like an addiction but it does help him a lot - so who can blame him. I'll be anxious to hear how you do with it.
>
-- I have read that some people can actually become addicted to their exercise regime and make themselves sick. I taught aerobics when I was in my mid 20s (so that is quite a few years ago) and I was quite obsessed about working out. I would get to work about 1.5 hours before my shift so I could work out with free weights and the machines. Then my shift would typically consist of teaching 3 45 minute high impact classes. I loved it, but my shins had taken a beating by the end of the week. But, I was becoming obsessed with working out. I toned it down after a while and now, because of my hours at work, my exercise regime is long brisk walks with my dog and some floor exercises with hand and ankle weights (when I have the time and energy). I want to get back into going to a gym. But, I first want to try the yoga. Hopefully within the next week or so I will be able to try a class or two.
>
> So far so good for the lack of side effects. I'll keep my fingers crossed that it stays that way once you go up in dose. I have very little of the anticholinergic effects that I used to have when I took doxepin in the past. I don't have orthostatic hypotension nor do I have dry mouth. My appetite is already too strong though but I think that is probably due to the antihistaminic effects of doxepin. Just a short while ago, I couldn't eat at all. Now I want to stuff my face all of the time (particularly with carbs and sugar) and I have no sense of when I'm full. That's the worst part of it. At first it was a welcome relief to be able to eat but now I wish it weren't such a strong response.
>
-- That's good that you are not experiencing troubling side effects from the Doxepin. I don't know about you, but I found the orthostatic hypotension the worst. I know what you mean about the increased appetite. It's nice for a time after having not been able to eat for a while, but then it's like "where's the off switch". Did you have a chance to try the chromium? Apparently it is supposed to help with sugar cravings and maybe even appetite suppression. I started using it when I was trialing Anafranil, and I found it helped with the sugar/carb cravings.
>
> I hadn't heard of Klonopin being good for avoidant personality disorder but that's definitely another reason to try it. I've also just learned what you said about it being good as a mood stabilizer. That's also another reason for me to try it. Do you think your pdoc will be amenable or do you think you'll have to fight for it?
>
-- I will probably have to fight for it. I am so embarrassed to say this, but I have found after the past number of months of being physically ill and experiencing the depression/anxiety, I am worried about doing certain things - like travelling by bus to go downtown (where I work). I feel like a fool, but when I think about getting on the bus and going to the mall near where I work, I feel a sense of dread. Does that make sense? I only had one episode that could be considered a panic attack, but it was on the bus and I got off the bus at that mall. I have been back on the bus and to that particular mall, but with much discomfort. I am hoping that something like Klonopin will quell the inner turmoil I experience and the "what if" ruminations so that I can get over that hump. And, it is those feelings that have me worried about my return to work. Phew, I have held that in for a while. Sorry to unload. I am embarrassed about those feelings, and my pdoc just keeps saying - do it, it will get easier. But it doesn't. So, I may have to put my foot down and tell him that I need to function and if I am going to be able to work on making it easier, I need something to at least allow me to do that.
>
> I think imipramine might metabolize to desipramine. It would definitely give me tachycardia then but it's not out of the question that someday I try desipramine or imipramine with a beta blocker. My current pdoc wouldn't go for it but they're on my list if nothing else pans out.
>
-- May well be. I think I have a chart that says what some of the TCAs metabolize to. I will see if Imipramine is there and let you know. At least you know that despiramine is an option if your pdoc will agree to a beta blocker. So, that's something to definitely keep in your back pocket. I think that the nice thing about the TCAs, at least as I understand it, is that they all work a little differently. So, if a person doesn't respond well to one, there are others to try.
>
> My mother told my sister and I to always live with someone first before getting married so we knew what we were getting in to. This is the exact opposite advice that every one of my friends got from their parents. I think there are advantages and disadvantages. My sister did live with her husband first (his mother thought it was horrible) and they've been married for over twenty years now. I agree it's nice to see couples who have been together a long time and are still happy together. Unfortunately that's not the way it works for everyone.
>
-- Your mom is very progressive. I agree with you that there are advantages and disadvantages to living together first. For some, it reinforces the couple's compatability and, for others, it may illuminate the striking differences that would sabotage a marriage no matter how hard the couple tried to make it work. That's nice about your sister's marriage. I like hearing about the lasting marriages. It is unfortunate that it does not work that way for everyone. I think some problems are just not fixable and it is in everyone's best interest that the marriage end.
>
> I haven't done any dancing lately but I did go out for a short walk today. It wasn't a good half hour or more walk as I had planned but it was something. The weather was perfect so I couldn't blame it on that. I was just really feeling tired. I think oversleeping was the problem today. I am still feeling tired now. I have some coffee brewing now and hope that will wake me up a bit. This is actually a big step for me. I haven't had caffeine in over two months. I think I'll try half a cup first. Recently that would have sent me through the roof with anxiety. The fact that I feel up to trying some now is a really good sign. I'm still a bit scared though. Sounds so silly, doesn't it?
>
-- A short walk is good. Like Larry always says - "start low, and go slow" :-). The same principle can apply to exercise. Each day, do what is comfortable, then slowly increase and build up. You sound like me with the coffee, and it does not sound silly at all. I had given up coffee over 8 years ago (after many, many years of 12 or more cups a day - I was an addict). Last August I had a few cups. But, since about mid-January, I have started drinking coffee again. Like you, I was worried about increasing my anxiety, but felt it was a good sign if I was able to drink a cup or two. I had forgotten how good coffee was :-) Yum! Yum! Half a cup is a good start, just to see how you react. I have found that having a cup or two of coffee does have a positive effect on my mood. I over did it today and had four cups, which left me feeling a bit wired. So, tomorrow, one or two cups only.
>
> > I remember what that used to be like. Actually it's probably similar to people going out into the sunshine here after weeks of rain.
>
-- I would think it is the same since rain tends to have a mood dampening (no pun intended) effect).Take care, and I will talk to you later.
Tamara
>
> Only problem is that with the timing of things, how will you know what improvement is due to nort. and what is due to the doctor?
>
-- That's true. I am thinking that I may be able to make a distinction by changes to my physical well-being (less fatigue, less bruising, etc.). I will have to pay close attention though for sure.
poster:TamaraJ
thread:456548
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050305/msgs/468512.html