Posted by Scott in Vermont on June 2, 2004, at 14:11:54
In reply to rejection? » Scott in Vermont, posted by karen_kay on June 2, 2004, at 11:24:03
Well now. Please understand that it is not my intent to hurt or reject. I prefer to have relationships start from a genuine and honest platform. That leaves less room for neglectful errors in the future.
Marriage, as in a legally binding document that ties me to your assets and debts, ties me to your future well-being in the form of support payments should we get divorced… that simply is not going to happen (unless you drop 3 of my Ambiens into my beer and then haul my semi-comatose butt off to the JoP… make sure someone there is CPR qualified in case I drop off the edge, ok?)
But you do present a strong case. So I will reply to the following:
I can provide a ride in the middle of the night. However, Canada is a pretty big place. I would request that you get as close to Montreal as possible. Quebec City is a potential pickup point, and Toronto is out of the question unless you promise to buy me lunch on the way back.
A place to live… well, I think I already described the place that I’m offering. You can choose between the back room and the front room, neither is in use right now. My recommendation would be the front room, as it can be fitted with an exterior door with no problem and has an independent heat source, and has the most beautiful view of the rising sun out of the entire house (well, except the porch).
Utter happiness… hmm, this one is more difficult. But in coming to America, you will be granted the inalienable rights to life, liberty, and the PURSUIT of happiness. If it’s good enough for the rest of the country, it’s good enough for you. But I’ll see what I can do in the “happiness” dept. I’ll address that a little further down in this dissertation of why you should and should not take me up on my offer.
Cocktail parties (off the subject, but I always snicker when I see that word. The one in front of “parties”. Juvenile, perhaps… but I still think it is funny) would not be necessary, because frankly I don’t like cocktails (snicker) and my friends are generally not associated with the kind of people who would be attending cocktail (snicker) parties. If I could interest you in a slightly less regimented itinerary, all of my friends are heathen and we basically drink a lot and run around naked in the woods. In the wintertime, we build big fires, drink a lot, and run around naked in the woods but not too far from the fire. It’s not “high culture” for sure, but it is fun. Your veggie lasagna would be an absolute hit; there are not many meat eaters (finances mostly, as opposed to ethical reasons). And I do not have a “pool”; I have a large brook with waterfalls that created natural pools at the bottom. Perfect for wading or sitting in, not advised to be dove into.
No, Domino’s does not deliver where I am. However, I have a microwave. I don’t mind if you heat something up. It’s the effort I’m looking for, and respect.
Motivation? Did someone say “motivation”? I was in the US Army for 6 years. I can provide all sorts of motivation. But prior to that, I’ll take your advice and ask you if you’d come out and help us with OUR (not YOUR) garden. That way you’re doing something nice for someone else and get that warm fuzzy feeling for doing something nice for someone else without clouding it with thoughts that you’re doing your job or that you “have” to do this.
My kids are 6 and 8. They have been going to the bathroom by themselves for a long time. I do have to ask about the helmet requirement, though. Please follow up on this in future correspondence.
Housework, for all intent and purposes, means pick up your own messes and tend to your own laundry. Self-sufficiency is the desired end-result when it comes to housework. For the unscheduled things like vacuuming or dusting, you would be required to make some sort of effort, or at least barter that task off somehow. As far as dishes go, I won’t allow paper or plastic in our home because it’s economically wasteful and it’s bad on the environment and it reeks of slothful laziness. For a big party, yes. But daily use? No way. I’ll do the dishes myself if that is what it takes to keep that junk out of our home.
I have reviewed the additional benefits of “marriage” to you. Entertainment is a major plus. There is no Cable at the house and the Internet is dialup only. I play many different instruments and I like to sing, but I’m the only one who is doing this right now and would prefer a duet. Do you play any instruments? If not, can you juggle? Or can you spin a good tale? Entertainment is always welcomed.
Being quite lovely is a plus, but it does not impact my decision one way or another. In all honesty, I look for more in a person than what is considered “beauty”. It is your mind, your heart, and your spirit that I will find attractive. Being a hottie will be icing on the cake, yes, but it’s not the reason I want the cake.
My friends and family would adore you anyway. They judge people the same way I do, for the most part.
Luckiest man in Vermont, eh? Well, this issue would have to be addressed sooner or later, so I may as well do it now. My girlfriend assures me that I am already the luckiest man in Vermont, and part of that is because there is no claim of exclusivity. I cannot and will not be “owned”, nor will I allow someone else to submit to that particular form of emotional slavery. It works for other people, true, and it is a healthy and positive thing for them. It did not work for me, and I do not want to feel “trapped” again.
Therefore, I would have to introduce you as exactly what you would be- another member of an extended collective family who was there to share in the duties and benefits of our collective family.
A ring is no problem. My friend Jon is a metalsmith and he specializes in jewelry. I hope you don’t mind ornate silver, because I cannot afford gold, and if there is a rock on it, it’s not going to be from a deep mine in South Africa, if you get my drift. That having been said, I encourage you to remain in contact with your boyfriend, so that if this situation doesn’t work out, you do have a fallback plan. I respect people who cover their bases and leave options open.
The poor Canadian woman would be welcomed, with the understanding that she would be subject to the same requirements as you. However, if you will vouch for her and ensure that her share of duties is performed (and the beauty here is that the more people there are, the less general duties there are) then she has nothing to worry about.
As far as helping you pay off your bills, bear in mind that my income is supporting a lot of people already. If you have outstanding debts, you may wish to consider getting a part-time job here (I’ll allow you to use my car for transportation providing you know how to drive and have a valid driver’s license) and towards that end I’ll help you with your assigned duties here so that you have the time off from the family to pursue generation of income elsewhere to address your debts.
I will not buy you a pony. But if you chose to acquire one on your own, there is plenty of room for it. The costs and responsibilities associated with the pony will be entirely yours to address and absorb (although I am sure you can get other people to go in with you on this).
Liquor in the house is not only no problem, it’s guaranteed to be there. Three things I will not go without is alcohol, nicotine, and caffeine. As far as nicotine and caffeine go, I’m not too fussy, but for alcohol I prefer beer, vodka, and mead on special occasions. We’ll be brewing our own mead, by the way.
I come to the end of this massive opus that I wrote instead of working. So I find that it is time to answer your final question… did you persuade me? In a way, yes. My core remains the same, but I’m open to discussing further the suggestions you have offered, and I think we can work this into a realistically achievable goal for everyone involved.
By the way, did I happen to mention that my family is Scottish? I’m serious. Clan Macleod, Harris sept Beaton.
poster:Scott in Vermont
thread:349363
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040602/msgs/353072.html