Posted by karen_kay on June 2, 2004, at 11:24:03
In reply to Re: mr vermont, posted by Scott in Vermont on June 1, 2004, at 14:53:37
now, when you said this: "I don't see marrying you to be in my long-term best interests." (please note, this has been edited to fit my needs, because there is only one karen and my needs are what's important here, right?) does that mean no? are you easily persuaded? if so, i assure you i can change your mind.
consider this:
point number one: i'm not really as lazy as i appear. spiteful, yes. lazy, no. i would be willing to move to vermont, provided you supply the following:
*a ride, preferably in the middle of the night so i can just sneak away and never look back
*a place to live (i'm not picky, a car will do fine. ac not required)
*utter happiness (is that possible?)in return, i will provide the following....
*cocktail parties for you and your friends (male friends, right? doctors, lawyers, engineers preferred) btw, i am an excellent hostess. i refill drinks the instant they are emptied, always offer second servings, strive to assure no one is 'left out' of the gathering, make a mean vegetarian lasagna, and when i drink too, things are always fun (did you say you have a pool? at least a bird bath?)
*i have no problem with having dinner prepared a few times a month. does dominoes deliver where you are?
*i love gardening, but i lack motivation. so, i do need someone there to keep me on track. i often help others with their gardens, so perhaps if you remind me that it's not my own garden i'm tending, things will work out fine.
*about children... babies, not so good. old enough to use the toilet and i'm fine. but, i must require they wear helmets at all times (think i'm kidding?). i won't raise my voice or get angry with them for any reason, but again, babies i don't do well with.
*and what type of housework items are you suggesting? i don't mind cleaning, if that's what you are suggesting. i don't like dishes though. can we use paper plates and plastic forks instead? i'll wash glasses, but only because you can't drink wine out of a plastic cup. wait, i guess you can. so, plastic utensils it is, right?
benefits to marrying karen:
*entertainment
*i am quite lovely
*your friends and family will adore me, i promise
*you will be the luckiest man in vermont (tempted to say the world, but let's not push it)negatives to marrying karen:
*not applicable
so you see mr vermont, the benefits far outweigh the potential negatives to marrying me. i could list many more benefits, if you still haven't made your mind up at this point. i agree that the 'piece of paper' isn't important here. what is important is the RING! we don't even realy have to get married, i just want a ring. no need to tell your girlfriend, in fact i won't tell my boyfriend either. just in case this doesn't work out, i'll have a back up plan. i'll tell him i went away to a commune for the summer (or however long this affair lasts). i have no problem with living in 'sin'. i assure you of that. but, i would want to claim sole exclusivity over mr vermont. i think your girlfriend may not be fond of this. how could we solve that problem? perhaps tell her i'm the nanny? or housekeeper? or your sister? ok, sister would be pushing it.
so, i'm giving you just one more chance to rethink your decision. i've never had someone say no to my proposal before, but rather than feeling hurt and rejected i'm feeling excited and a bit more assertive. i'm not too proud to beg mr vermont. but, i must warn you, i'm married to a poor, canadian woman. can she move in with us too? oh, and will you help me pay off all my bills? and buy me a pony? and i have to have liquor in the house at all times. don't be concerned, it's not a problem.
did i persuade you yet mr vermont, or do i need to think of a new strategy? oh, and that shirt looks nice on you today :)
poster:karen_kay
thread:349363
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040602/msgs/353013.html