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Working and crying » Ilene

Posted by rainyday on April 23, 2004, at 13:25:36

In reply to Re: Thoughts vs. emotions » rainyday, posted by Ilene on April 23, 2004, at 11:38:42

I am terrified of being fired for poor job performance. Some days I have to go home because I can't stop crying. There is one person in the office who can't say ANYTHING to me without me crying. We keep all communications very superficial now, but if we veer into work-related issues, I tear right up. They have all been extremely accomodating for all my doctors' appointments. When I have to leave, it is a burden on the whole office because I am at the front reception. I don't exactly trust that I won't lose this job, because I have been fired 4 times before and in retrospect, they were all performance related issues where I overracted to criticism or more accurately, perceived criticism.

I feel like I am holding myself together with spit and elastic bands.

So work is a blessing and a curse for me. It takes my mind somewhat off my illness, yet I am constantly conscious of how it interferes with my work.

rainyday.


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