Posted by fallsfall on December 27, 2003, at 18:53:02
In reply to Re: Saturday, posted by geri122 on December 27, 2003, at 9:40:54
Hi Geri,
I know how Christmas can be disappointing. Even sometimes when we don't think that we are expecting too much. It sounds like you did a really good job of trying to put things into perspective (realizing that you DID get one thing you really wanted, realizing that it shouldn't be a crisis that it didn't work). Those are hard things to do.
When I am feeling depressed I find that when things go OK I don't feel very good, and when things to less than OK, I feel really awful. So everything FEELS worse to me than it (objectively) is. I'm sure that some of what you are feeling is that things look darker to you through your depression glasses. Knowing that doesn't necessarily make anything feel better, but it can help you to make it through the time without selfdestructing as much.
I can understand that you didn't want to spend time with your sister and friend - Their view of the world is different (sunnier) than yours, and that really doesn't seem fair. I think that being alone TO SOME DEGREE can help - it can let you sort things out in your own mind, it can keep things from getting so overwhelming because you have more control over what stimulation you are receiving, it can let you relax. But it is really dangerous for me to be alone TOO MUCH. Being with other people forces me to see that other people do care about me, it forces me to recognize that other's lives look better than mine - that gives me some hope that mine can get better, too, it forces me to put a smile on and not wallow in my sorrow so much. I guess I'm trying to say that there is a balance somewhere between being with people too much and not enough. If you are doing a lot of one and you aren't feeling any better - maybe you should try a little of the other.
Holidays are full of stress. There are so many expectations and so many responsibilities and so many unusual activities. Try to be good to yourself a little - do things that you want to do. Take a bubble bath, or go sledding, or listen to music that calms you. See if you can get back to a more "normal" routine (which is hard during vacation...).
Personally, I'm just glad Christmas is over. New Years isn't a big holiday for me, so now I can wind down and get ready to go on with the rest of my life. Phew!
I'm sorry your Christmas wasn't wonderful. Sometimes (too much of the time?) they aren't. But maybe your December 28th can be better than your December 27th was, and you can go on from there.
(((((Geri)))))
poster:fallsfall
thread:284151
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031217/msgs/293843.html