Posted by Jai Narayan on December 22, 2003, at 16:20:40
In reply to Re: what must you think? » Jai Narayan, posted by Larry Hoover on December 22, 2003, at 9:23:34
<The way if appears to me is he can give advice but he but he can't take it. It's a one way interaction. He can be blunt but I have to be very careful and sweet. I can't be blunt as well.
Jai, if you cannot distinguish between advice and judgment, I would ask that you not speak to me or about me at all.
*Well thanks for the judgement. You have no right to limit my speaking.
< There is no advice in that statement. There is only judgment, i.e. not respectful, not empathetic. I categorically reject that judgment, for a second time.
*that's your right.
< You gave your interpretation of Tabitha's statement, i.e. her seeking of empathy, rather than advice. Again, that is not advice (to me). Instead, it implies that I am failing to heed a component of the posting which can only be inferred. Forgive me for not reading minds.
*that's rude.
> Go back to Tabitha's original posting, which opened this thread. There are specific punctuation marks, which we call question marks, i.e. ? ....do you see them? It is not unreasonable to presume that more than empathy was being sought.
*Sorry Larry.
> I take great care to use descriptive language (e.g. mixed message) rather than judgmental language (e.g. faulty thinking), although it is an art rather than a science to distinguish between the two. Moreover, I am not perfect in its execution, and I am more than happy to try and explain myself more fully if my intent has gone astray (please recall my "playing catch" metaphor). I do not shy away from a topic because it is awkward, but that does not make me blunt. However, there are some individuals for whom bluntness is the only style that effectively communicates my intent.*You are totally rude to me. Clear Larry, so RUDE!
> Have I been blunt enough, Jai?
* no just rude, larry.
> Regards,
*What's the point of redards....huh?
> Lar
poster:Jai Narayan
thread:291123
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031217/msgs/292469.html