Posted by Reneb on July 3, 2002, at 19:31:20
In reply to Re: losing mom, posted by Gracie2 on July 3, 2002, at 18:20:12
>
> I went through a long period where I was grieving over my son. I had not "lost" him through death,
> only that he was getting older and did not need me anymore. We had been so close while he was growing up, but as he grew older we became distant. I tried to tell myself that it was healthy and natural for him to leave me and start his own life. But I missed him and his affection so much, I was in constant pain.
> Then I read the book "Angela's Ashes", a true story of a poor family in Ireland. Angela, the mother, endured extreme suffering through her alcoholic husband, who rarely worked and drank his wages when he did. The Catholic family continued to produce children who died or suffered from starvation and want.
> I tried to put myself in the place of this poor woman, Angela, who watched her children die, who tried to sleep while her children cried from "the hunger", who was unable to provide them with decent clothes or shoes.
> At least I had the good memories of my own son's childhood. I was able to feed him and provide him with medical care, regular meals, clothes, books, toys, sports.
> I decided that even though my son and I no longer enjoyed the close relationship that I had treasured for so many years, at least I had these wonderful memories.
> That's how you should think of your Mom - you should appreciate the memories. I never got along with my own Mom - she's selfish, selfish, selfish.
> -Gracie
Hi Gracie, I do remember the good times. I have some great memories. It's just that I miss her so much and don't know what to do with the pain. I guess it will get better in time. I know she is in a much better place and not in anymore pain.I understand completely about your son. I have a daughter that is turning 13 soon. I can't believe how fast these last 13 yrs have gone by. I to think about when she will go off on her own and it makes me very sad now. She laughs at me when I tell her I am going to miss her very much when she goes.
I'm truly sorry about your relationship with your Mom. Can you tell me why she is so selfish? How about your Dad? I don't have a very good relationship with my Dad. I have a hard time watching him cry over her when all he did was treat her terribly.
Thanks for sharing,
Renee
poster:Reneb
thread:25610
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020629/msgs/26039.html