Posted by paxvox on November 9, 2001, at 12:39:13
In reply to Re: How many times can you fall in love? » Krazy Kat , posted by Greg on November 9, 2001, at 11:25:10
Arrrghhhhhh!!!!!
I'm going to have to out my 4 cents in Kat.OK. First, after reading the other posts, I still sense a lot of mixed feelings. To answer your initial question "How many times can you fall in love"? The answer is: as many times as you DO!
I can honestly tell you, I still have feelings of "love" for girls I was with 20 years ago! There is no conflict for having feelings like these. The conflict arises when you ACT UPON them. You made a choice to marry your current spouse. Now, the secularists will say that you have the same choice to be "unmarried", as half of all married people, have chosen to do. I don't agree. That is like buying a food item, taking a taste, deciding you don't like it, and putting it back on the shelf. There's no honor in that. Now, the divorce rate for Christians is about the same as non-Christians,so I won't get all religious on you about what is "morally right". I do believe, however, that you do not know where you will be in life in 10 years, nor how you will feel about the people in your life. Are you going to put this marriage back on the shelf? We, as a culture, want the easy way out. We want it OUR way. But life is not that way! We have choices, sure, but mostly life HAPPENS to us, and we choose how to deal with it. What makes you a stronger person, facing a fear (or a marital problem) or running away from it? How is pure gold refined? It is made pure by burning away the impurities again and again until only the base metal remains. It is not a simple or easy or quick method. Neither is having a successful marriage. Now, you might ask what do I know about marriage problems.....which chapter do you want to hear first? Am I perfectly happy? NO! Do I have some devine RIGHT to be happy in life? NO!
Nothing worth having in life comes at a cheap price, or in other words, you get what you pay for. Do investors pull all their assets out of the market at the first hint of a downturn ?, or do they wait it out, knowing that in the long run, the investment will pay off...with interest.I may be totally against the feel-good be happy mentality of today, and I am clearly not trying to judge you (by any means)but you DID ask for input. You have read my posts before. You need to decide if my advice is of merit. I say, find a way to make the marriage work out, even if it means that YOU have to do most of the changing. The only exception I would say requires deeper consideration is a marriage that has physical violence involved in the mix. THAT will require an outside professional's intervention to resolve.
PAX
poster:paxvox
thread:13529
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20011105/msgs/13715.html