Posted by shar on November 8, 2000, at 10:52:00
In reply to Re: No. » Racer, posted by TomV on November 8, 2000, at 10:33:33
You wrote "The only thing is I don't spend too much time thinking about my father. I've conciously put him in the past."
-----I don't understand how you can grieve about your father if you don't think about him, about the things you did together, about the words he spoke to you, that he didn't see you graduate, get married, be successful. Grieving--at least part of it, is about acknowledging all those losses. Grief has to Come Out. To feel it you have to make it present, in the here and now. You have to be aware of what it is you miss. What it is you will never experience again with that person. Feeling the loss, instead of putting it in the past or stuffing it and getting depressed. Tell someone about your father, what he was like, what your favorite "dad" story is, what you miss most, Get it Out. Put it on the airwaves. Then it is not stuck inside you.
You wrote: "I do believe there is a way I can move on but so far no one has shown me the way to the light."
-----I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for someone to show you the light. There is nobody that knows what you need better than you. You may be resisting what you need (as do we all at times), but there are really only a certain number of options, and it is up to you to take steps to reach them. You have to make the move, nobody can do that for you.
Good luck, I hope you take a step toward healing.
Shar
poster:shar
thread:2240
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20001031/msgs/2297.html