Posted by shar on November 7, 2000, at 20:41:14
In reply to I don't think I can be helped..., posted by TomV on November 7, 2000, at 14:13:26
I think you posted to the right board. I will agree with other posters that the absolute position of "can't be helped" is one I disagree with. It also depends on what you consider being helped would be like. Ie, a med you could take and feel happy, or talk therapy that would make you happy in a few weeks. I don't believe that will happen.
I believe talk therapy, with a good therapist, can be excellent for dealing with grief, and understanding grief and how we sweep it under the carpet in this country. Even reading something like Kubler-Ross "On death and dying" could help. My father died when I was 14, and it took years and years for me to go through the grief.
Your experience of depression, as others have said, may or may not be absolutely related to the loss of your father. Probably it is a contributing factor to your depression, but not the cause. Whether it is caused by biology or life experience, there is probably more for you to do in order to be better.
How about a complete physical, thyroid test, liver function tests, and whatever else you can rule out physically. Then, finding a knowledgeable p-doc, and working on finding a med that will help you and giving it a chance to work. Finally, when your head is above water, I strongly recommend talk therapy, to help you identify and process some of your sadness, and help you recognize that you are also having other feelings in the here and now.
Best of luck to you. Probably you'll do a fair amount of crying, and that will help your sadness "get out."
Shar
> (As I ponder which board I should be posting this message to...)
>
> I've posted on medical psycho babble before about how I slid into a major depression thats lasted the last 4 years due to early age trauma. The origin of my depression dates back to my father's death when I was age 7 (I'm 33 now). I carried around this heavy baggage my entire life, which in retrospect allowed me to have a happy childhood and a fair amount of happiness as an adult. I did have some mild to moderate bouts of depression through out my life, but right now I'm definitely paying the fiddler!!
>
> My depression is based in extreme sadness... loss of my father; loss of my innocence; loss, loss, loss! I've tried lots of meds. None seemed to last very long or work at all. It seems like the deep sadness always resurfaces, which causes me to think excessively and slide down the depressive hole. I'm really beginning to feel that I'm going to stay in this hole regardless of what treatment I get (medical or non-med). I've read about certain meds for certain types of depression (low level, chronic, major, etc), but I've never read about one for grief! If that pill exists point me in that direction!
>
> It's been hard coming to grips with this pain. I just don't think there is any way to medicate it, therapize it, any way you look at it. My only hope is time. Thats a tough thing to hang your hat on. What really hurts most is nothing else in my life is really that bad. I have a good job (financial professional), wife, kids, nice home... everything alot of people would give their left arm for!
>
> So, does anyone agree that sometimes, some things just can't be helped?
poster:shar
thread:2240
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20001031/msgs/2272.html