Posted by Tanzanite on March 3, 2006, at 18:39:11
In reply to is it being selfish or just feeling guilty (long), posted by jazzmine on March 3, 2006, at 17:24:55
Hi Jazzmine, this is coming from someone who is on disability for both physical and mental health problems. First, I want to say I am so sorry this has been hard on you. Secondly, I will be the first to admit that I don't feel well to do much around the house because of more than one reason. Physical pain, exhaustion, weakness, and then the depression comes in. However, my husband who is healthy and works isn't doing much around here either and we have communication issues and when my stepdaughter comes and makes a mess of the rooms I did have clean he usually leaves them that way. I don't know how this is going to help, but let me try this from a different angle. Illness of any sort can usually weigh heavily on family members and yes contribute to other's depression. The family member who has the physical health problems may also be suffering from depression and that may be the reason why your husband doesn't feel like doing anything, not including pain and fatigue. I do not think you area being selfish. Is he depressed? Has he sought out care in that area? What about you getting emotional support for yourself? It would be a start. Is communication difficult? Would marital counseling be a consideration? In order for things to get better in any situation, first the source of the problem needs to be addressed. Me, I am having a lot of difficulties getting through to my husband. But, I am figuring you are a much more kind, understanding, and non-selfish spouse than my own. Peace and blessings.
Tanzanite
poster:Tanzanite
thread:615539
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20060220/msgs/615572.html