Posted by Susan47 on January 18, 2006, at 0:27:27
In reply to Re: ..the male libido- where oh where does it hide?, posted by Declan on November 23, 2005, at 14:45:29
> When I was much younger I didn't like people touching me, I felt too open, too unclosed, every touch felt like an effort to control, my freedom of movement vanished. You can imagine sex under these circumstances. The best thing might have been some psychologically aware older lover. The pity is that this is the time of your life that you actually have a sex drive. It would be nice to have made more use of it.
> Declan
I didn't know I didn't like being touched, but let it happen anyways, unable to give back very much. Motions only. Now it's totally opposite again, I'm sometimes back almost to where I was before, a lot of years ago and I know it's just a matter of trust. It's hard to find anyone to trust, though. And there aren't any men I know of, yet, who're interested in me anyway. So it's a bit dry.. well, the one(s) who ARE interested, just really mainly don't interest me. Or I don't feel they can be trusted to love enough. I don't think most people really can do that anyway, I guess 'cause I used to feel that way about me. ANYWAY long story shorter, Declan, you can be like me and satisfy yourself, you know, and still love who you are, and be making good use of your sex drive. Because even if you're getting yourself off, you have several advantages: (a) you have that slight flush that says, I'm sexually satisfied ... (b) which automatically makes you more compelling... (c) which opens the field a heck of a lot more, even if it's all to your imagination it's okay ... (d) and you start feeling sexually attractive to your own biggest asset, which is your mind, and from there it's all up. Think of yourself as.. a moveable feast. Just because there's no other person (OKAY I'm really NOT trying to minimize the importance of that, I miss it like anybody else, especially since now I KNOW what I'm missing, again) doesn't mean you can't be as sexual and juicy as you like.
poster:Susan47
thread:581401
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20051204/msgs/600237.html