Posted by JenStar on October 27, 2005, at 15:06:54
In reply to male/female friendships are hard, posted by happyflower on October 26, 2005, at 21:58:20
hi Happyflower,
First, I want to congratulate you on starting up the trumpet, and for finding a way to get together regularly with other musicians. That is very cool and exciting and artsy. I'm happy you're doing that. :)But I'm sorry that the husband/wife dynamic between your teacher & his spouse is affecting his ability to have a friendship with you.
I don't think it's YOUR fault at all - there is nothing wrong with you! :) It's just that there is a lot of jealousy and concern and unresolved issues between many husbands and wives.... often wives just are NOT confident enough to be comfortable with their man having a friendship with another woman, no matter how innocent it is.
But in general I think your foray into the world of friendship was a huge success! You started lessons, and you developed a good working and friendly relationship with this man. It wasn't weird, or icky - it was NICE. Unfortunately his wife isn't OK with it, but that's his problem, not yours. So consider your friend-making ability a success. I'm sure you're a fascinating and fun person to be around! Even if this guy can't be a long-term close friend, you definitely have it within you to find many other friends.
And maybe over time he'll warm up again?
Keep us updated!JenStar
poster:JenStar
thread:572247
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20051002/msgs/572434.html